


i believe (one for the dagger)

by glazedsun



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Hockey, Coming Out, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Homophobic Language, Injury Recovery, M/M, Rival Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 11:09:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6114646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glazedsun/pseuds/glazedsun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Liam are on rival AHL teams, both fighting to get the call up to the NHL. On the ice, they despise each other. Off the ice, the feeling is mutual... well, usually. After an injury to Liam, Louis suddenly finds himself re-evaluating his feelings and questioning everything he believed.</p><p>On top of it, he's got to deal with his own injury and a former teammate forcing Louis out of the closet.</p><p>Just another average time in Louis Tomlinson's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i believe (one for the dagger)

**Author's Note:**

> Additional warnings for: description of injuries and violence in the context of a hockey game and a scene with some bullying. Title is from "Chelsea Dagger" by the Fratellis.
> 
> I've been dying to write a 1D hockey fic for awhile, and it's finally come together! 
> 
> A huge thank you to [KelliDiane](http://archiveofourown.org/users/KelliDiane/pseuds/KelliDiane) for your help brainstorming when I was panicking trying to get this thing off the ground. This wouldn't have been possible without bouncing the initial ideas off of you months ago!
> 
> Thank you as well to [sunshineflying](http://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineflying/pseuds/sunshineflying) for the beta read and the help in the areas that I was stuck on!
> 
> And of course, thank you to [failurebydesign](http://archiveofourown.org/users/failurebydesign/pseuds/failurebydesign)not only for cheerleading along the way, but convincing me to go with the idea for this AU in the first place!
> 
>  
> 
> **Check out the absolutely wonderful fanmix[here](http://8tracks.com/embracedthedark/i-believe-one-for-the-dagger). It was such a pleasure working with you!**
> 
>  
> 
> Last but not least, I make many references throughout the story to the brilliant You Can Play project. For more information on this great project, check it [out](http://youcanplayproject.org). To get an idea of the videos mentioned in the story, the examples I based them on are [here](http://youcanplayproject.org/videos/entry/you-can-play-bridgeport-sound-tigers) and [here](http://youcanplayproject.org/videos/entry/rochester-americans-2014).

It all happened in the span of 10 seconds, and yet it felt like hours to Louis while time went in slow motion. One second, he was flying up the ice, chasing down the opposition in an attempt to steal the puck from their defenseman. The next second, he heard a thud and a yell from the goalie. Time seemed to go in slow motion as he turned around to see Liam Payne laying on the ice, seemingly unconscious. Louis felt his heart stop as everyone backed off to give Liam space, Niall and Bressie rushing out to the ice to check on the fallen player. 

Louis stared, completely unaware of the tears filling his eyes, at the way that Niall gently held Liam’s head to keep it steady while Bressie checked him out. Out of the corner of his eye, Louis saw his own teammate being escorted off the ice and sent down the tunnel, presumably thrown out with a game misconduct. Louis couldn’t even think about that, couldn’t even think about how pissed off he should be at his teammate for doing something so careless with only 15 minutes left in a tied game. All he could think about was the man down on the ice, and try to hold in the panic that he wouldn’t get back up.

Vaguely, Louis registered Stan’s hand on his back. He bumped his shoulder against his teammate to acknowledge the gesture. 

When Bressie and Niall managed to help Liam up, Louis breathed out a sigh of relief. Liam was very clearly concussed, and had a dazed look on his face, but he was conscious. The trio slowly skated off the ice to the cheers of encouragement from the crowd. Louis pushed the image of Liam laying on the ice out of his head and skated back to the bench, allowing the first penalty killing unit to come out. He was grateful for that, because it gave him a few seconds to gather himself before putting his emotions behind him and focusing on the game at hand.

-

The… _thing_ that Louis had with Liam hadn’t started until a few months prior, but he’d known Liam for longer than that. 

Louis wasn’t ever actually drafted into the NHL. While he’d been a pretty good player in college at the University of North Dakota, his size made teams hesitate when it came to drafting him. Honestly, he wasn’t all that surprised. His mom told him that she was proud of him anyway when his last year of draft eligibility passed with no interest. 

She did cry, however, a year later. His team had just been eliminated from the Frozen Four tournament, and he wasn’t long from graduating. Somehow, despite being piss poor at school (thank god for Ed’s help), he’d actually gotten decent enough grades to pass and get his degree in business management. The best news of all, though, wasn’t the graduating. It was the day that he got a call from his agent, telling him that the New York Islanders had decided to sign him to a professional tryout with Bridgeport, their AHL affiliate.

That night, his mom and sisters baked him a cake they frosted in the bright orange, blue, and white that he would come to love more than any other colors.

By some divine intervention (in Louis’ eyes), or just a testament of his talent (in Jay’s eyes), Louis managed to prove himself in the final few games of the season for Bridgeport, enough that the Islanders officially signed him to a contract for the next season. 

It was a year later that Louis first heard the name Liam Payne getting thrown around. Payne was the captain of his OHL team, and the previous year (with the help of his linemate, Niall Horan) had brought the team to a championship. Niall had been drafted the previous year by the Rangers, and it was the first year that Liam was draft eligible. There was rampant speculation that the Rangers were going to do anything they could in order to make sure they drafted Liam… and it worked. Liam was drafted in the middle of the first round.

The first time Louis played against Liam, he hated him. He hated the raw talent that the kid had, and his ease around the puck. The chemistry on the ice between Liam and Niall was undeniable, and Louis was envious. 

And, of course, Liam hated him right away as well. Louis was a pest on the ice, always doing his best to get in the way, be physical, and even taunt a bit if the opportunity came up. It went on like that for months, before everything changed.

-

The game ended with an emotional win for Liam’s team. As much as it sucked for Louis to lose, he understood the fight. He understood the need to, as a team, push hard and pull off the win not just for a hurt teammate, but their _captain_. He was glad that Tom had already left the locker room, so he didn’t have to face the teammate that had hurt Liam. 

Louis did perk up when he saw Grimshaw, radio announcer for the Hartford Wolf Pack, saunter in the room, and wasn’t that a first. Usually whenever the man came in to interview someone on Louis’ team, Louis just got annoyed by his presence. That day, though, he hoped that he would be able to get some information out of him. 

“Nick,” Louis called, standing up out of his stall. 

Nick turned around, nodding to him and walking over with a tense smile. “Tomlinson,” he said when he got closer. “I was going to go talk to Stan, would you like to do the interview instead?”

Louis shook his head. “Just wanted to talk off record for a second. How is Liam doing?”

Nick’s shoulders deflated just slightly, which worried Louis. “Don’t really know much myself, unfortunately,” Nick sighed. “I know about as much as what you probably guessed since you saw him right after.”

“Concussion?” Louis asked, frowning. 

“Exactly,” Nick agreed, shaking his head. “Niall and Brez are both evaluating him, but we probably won’t know more at least until the morning.”

“Alright, thanks,” Louis sighed.

Nick nodded, reaching up to pat Louis on the shoulder. “I’ll keep you updated if I can, okay? Send me a DM on Twitter or something.”

“Appreciate it, man,” Louis half-smiled. Maybe Nick wasn’t so bad after all. “Now go do what you get paid for. God knows why,” he teased.

“Pot meet kettle,” Nick sing-songed, winking at Louis before turning around and going to grab Stan for a quick interview. 

Louis watched Nick walk away before turning back to his stall with a sigh. He dressed quickly into his road sweats and half-heartedly shoved everything into his bag. One of the local Bridgeport media guys walked over to him, hoping to get a sound byte or two, but Louis shook his head with an apologetic smile. Usually he had no problem talking to the media, but he just wasn’t feeling up to it that night. All he wanted to do was get on the bus and sleep the entire way to Utica. Luckily, one of his teammates came to his rescue, probably in the hopes that it would get them all out of there and on the road faster. He nodded to his teammate before walking outside, where he was greeted by about a dozen fans.

Of course. He took a deep breath, schooling his face to mask the anxiety, and continued forward to sign for them and take pictures with them, chatting with a few kids. Once he’d gotten through everyone, he made his way onto the bus.

He grabbed a slice of pizza from the waiting box and made his way down the aisle. While there were never really assigned seats, there was a specific seat in the back of the bus. It was in the last row, and a bit of a cramped fit for two hockey players to occupy. Usually, if someone just wanted to be left alone, that was where they sat and their teammates knew not to bother them for the entire drive, whether they were awake or asleep. Louis was glad to see that seat was empty, and promptly fell back into it.

After he ate the pizza, Louis reached for the phone he hadn’t checked since before the game. He saw a text there from Harry, and smiled a little. “ _Hope you’re holding up okay_ ” was all the text said, because Harry knew. Harry was one of the very select few people who knew what was actually going on between Louis and Liam.

“ _doing better than him, I guess. text you when we get into u t i town, wanna sleep a bit._ ” Louis sent the quick reply and then opened the music app, locating his road playlists. He had a few different ones, depending on his mood and where they were going. Once he decided on one, he put his headphones on and leaned back to close his eyes, trying desperately to push away the image of Liam laying on the ice so he could try and get some sleep.

-

It wasn’t until Monday that Louis really got a free moment to check Nick’s Twitter and see if there were any updates. He didn’t see anything, so he decided to send the man a quick message to see what he knew. There was nothing he could do now but wait, so he turned down to look at the dog laying by his feet.

“What do you think, Bruce? You up for a trip to the park?” The dog immediately sat up, tail thumping against the wood floor. “Alright, park it is,” Louis laughed, standing up. As soon as he was up, Bruce jumped up and ran across the apartment, grabbing his leash and running back to Louis. Louis shook his head in amusement and grabbed everything they needed before heading to get some fresh air.

It was a crisp October morning, bright and sunny with a bit of a chill in the air. Really, it was a perfect fall day. He sat down on a bench in the dog run, glad the place was mostly empty. After a few moments of just enjoying the silence and watching Bruce run around with a friendly Dalmatian, Louis decided that he could use some company, and invited Harry to come by on his lunch break.

When he wasn’t working for the Sound Tigers as a member of the ice crew, Harry worked at the local library. The two of them had fallen into the habit of meeting up during Harry’s breaks if Louis wasn’t doing something for the team. It probably didn’t help all the gossip going around the locker room, all the speculation that they were dating. 

At first, it had really pissed Louis off, to the point where he was avoiding Harry for a while. Eventually, though, he came to just deal with it. He knew there was no changing his teammates’ minds, and he was grateful that they were (mostly) so accepting of him. 

Sure, there were still the occasional homophobic words thrown around in the locker room, especially whenever someone new came to the team and didn’t yet know about Louis’ sexuality. Most of the lads were getting better about it, though. In fact, many of them had even started to get involved in the You Can Play project, trying to make the game more accepting.

Through everything, it helped having someone there who understood. 

-

**_Two years prior_ **

After a game, Louis always ran the gamut of emotions. He could be anything from absolutely elated to fuming with anger to so disappointed he wanted to cry. All of it depended on the game, as did his coping mechanisms and the way that he wound down after a game. 

It was always impossible for Louis to settle down after a game. His body was often running on pure adrenaline by the time the game ended, so mentally focused on the game itself that the abrupt end of it often threw him off. He and his teammates all coped differently; some were able to just go right to sleep after, some needed to play video games to get the rest of their aggression out, the list went on. Typically, Louis just needed to get out of his head. 

That particular day, Louis needed to go out, have a few drinks, and maybe have a quick make out session with a stranger. He and Eleanor, his girlfriend from college, were in a rough patch of their relationship, so he knew that going back to their apartment just wasn’t an option; it would be more stress than he needed right then. They had an unspoken agreement during these mini fights that kissing others was okay, but nothing beyond that. That was exactly what Louis needed, and he planned to go out and do just that.

He’d taken a taxi down to one of his favorite local bars. Olivia’s was a bit of a dive, but it was comforting and just crowded enough without being packed. Louis sat down in his usual spot at the bar, greeting the bartender and heaving a sigh of relief when his usual pint of beer was placed in front of him.

“Rough game?” James asked, his voice sympathetic. 

“Fuck, you have no idea,” Louis groaned, letting his head fall onto his arms on the bar top.

James motioned up to the television sets on either side of the bar, both of which were currently showing highlights of the game. “Unfortunately, I do.”

Louis made an annoyed sound, glaring at the small version of himself on screen. It was the second goal against, and Louis had just been a split second too slow getting onto the ice to help prevent the goal. Really, he had been off all night, and it had been so frustrating. “I don’t even know what was going on. It was a fucking mess, and of _course_ we play them again on Sunday afternoon.”

“I’m not worried about you boys,” James grinned, leaning over and patting Louis on the shoulder before going off to help another customer. Louis rolled his eyes and looked down at his beer, taking a long swig of it. Right, he told himself, he didn’t come here to mope. He was there to relax and maybe get some kissing in. 

Louis leaned back in his seat, glancing around the bar to see if anyone would catch his eye. It didn’t take long for him to spot a guy that was just his type. Taller than him, muscular, a bit of mischief on his face while he spoke with his friends. He observed him for a few minutes while he finished his beer.

When James came over with a fresh one for him, Louis decided to get a drink for the guy as well. He watched nervously as the guy accepted the drink, looking a bit confused. Louis still counted it as a win, however, when he didn’t get a disgusted look in return like sometimes happened. He raised an eyebrow with a little smile at the man before turning and striking up a conversation with the girl next to him.

Some fifteen minutes or so later, Louis found another drink placed down in front of him this time. He glanced over to see the man smirking at him, so he lifted the glass in thanks. Louis couldn’t help the smirk on his face when the man stood up and walked over, occupying the seat next to him that had just been vacated.

“Haven’t seen you here before,” the guy said.

Louis fought the urge to roll his eyes. One thing that he absolutely hated was cheesy pick-up lines, but this guy was hot so he could forgive it… unless it continued. “Come here every once in a while, actually. I’m Louis,” he held his hand out.

“Brad,” came the reply and a handshake.

They shared a bit of awkward small talk for a few minutes, but with each word that Brad said, Louis found his eyes drawn down to the man’s lips. Brad must have caught onto it, because he gave Louis a smug look and tilted his head in the direction of the bathroom. 

Finally.

Louis stood up, walking in the direction of the bathroom and feeling Brad following close behind him. As soon as they turned the corner to the hall where the bathrooms were located, Louis found himself being pushed against the wall. He eagerly wrapped his arms around the taller man’s neck, pulling him in. Their lips met in a heated kiss, Louis making soft sounds of pleasure as the kiss continued.

They must have been making out for at least ten minutes before Brad pulled away, smirking down at Louis and leaning in to kiss along his jaw, nuzzling his nose against the stubble there. “Would love to feel those lips around my dick,” he murmured into Louis’ ear and kissed slowly down Louis’ neck.

Before Louis could even reply, he heard his name being called. His eyes flew open and he lifted his head from where it was leaning back against the wall, panic setting into his bones. The absolute last thing he needed was some fan recognizing him and outing him, potentially ruining his career.

He relaxed slightly, however, when he recognized who was standing there. “Harry,” he muttered.

Brad pulled back, turning to glare at Harry for interrupting them. He then turned back to Louis, murmuring, “Thanks for the drinks. Maybe I’ll see you around.” He stepped back, adjusting himself in his jeans before walking away.

“Um,” Louis blushed, looking down. “So that happened.”

“He was pretty hot,” Harry shrugged, glancing back in the direction that Brad had left in. “Not the type I usually go for myself, bit too beefy for me, but I can see why you’d be into him.”

Louis blinked in surprise, pulling himself up from against the wall. “What is your type, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Tall and lanky, usually, but pretty much anything,” Harry shrugged again, with a bright grin. “Not too concerned about the bits as much as the rest.”

“Pan, then?” Louis asked for clarification, and Harry nodded. Louis instantly relaxed, feeling relief. Not only did someone related to the team know about him now, but he had someone to talk to about this kind of thing. “Bi,” Louis clarified for himself. He suddenly found himself engulfed in a huge hug, which he couldn’t help but laugh about.

Once the hug was finished, they headed back to the bar, ordering another round of drinks and bonding about everything from their sexualities to skating to school to Harry’s long winded stories about probably being a baker in a past life. Louis decided that he was probably an actor in a past life, which just sparked even more conversation.

It went on for hours, until it hit 2 A.M. and Louis realized he should probably head back home if he wanted to be up for practice the next day. After the shit game he’d just had, the last thing he needed was to get on coach’s bad side and wind up benched.

“I think this is the beginning of a very good friendship,” Harry announced, shaking Louis’ hand. Louis laughed and nodded in agreement before they went their separate ways.

Turned out, Harry was right.

**_Present Day_ **

Harry showed up in the park some twenty minutes later, carrying two travel cups. “Tea for you,” he said, handing Louis the tea and sitting down on the bench beside him.

“You’re the best,” Louis sighed happily. 

“I know,” Harry beamed. He took a sip of his coffee, whistling for Bruce to come over and say hi. The dog came running and placed his paws in Harry’s lap, licking his face and barking before jumping down and going back to his new Dalmatian friend. “Have you heard anything new about Liam?” Harry asked after a moment of companionable silence.

“No,” Louis sighed. “I sent Grimshaw a DM, but I haven’t heard anything back.”

“I didn’t really see any new updates from anyone on Twitter, either,” Harry frowned. “I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”

“When it comes to head injuries, usually bad,” Louis frowned. “It’s not like a broken wrist, which can be diagnosed immediately. Concussions are… difficult.” 

After speaking, Louis looked down at his cup. He thought about teammates of his who suffered from the lingering effects of concussions. Some had even been forced to stop playing because of them, and that scared Louis. He couldn’t imagine the hockey world without Liam Payne. It had already lost Niall Horan the year before to a career-ending injury; it couldn’t lose Liam, too.

Liam was one of the most highly touted prospects in the game at the moment. Everyone knew it was just a matter of time before he got that big break, a chance to play more than a couple of pre-season games. 

Louis himself had played against Liam enough times to know that all it would take was one call-up at the right time, and he would be in the NHL to stay. And he hoped desperately that the concussion didn’t ruin that chance, because nobody deserved it more than Liam.

“You okay?” Harry asked gently, reaching out to wrap an arm around Louis’ shoulders.

“Yeah,” Louis murmured. “Just worried about him. For his career,” he clarified. 

“I’m sure that’s all it is,” Harry teased.

Louis made a face, asking, “What is that supposed to mean?” 

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Are you still in denial?”

“There is nothing to be in denial of,” Louis argued.

“Riiiiiight,” Harry said slowly. “You two just meet up on occasion and have rival hate sex, that’s it?”

“Exactly,” Louis agreed, a bright smile on his face. 

Harry rolled his eyes, reaching down to pinch Louis’ shoulder. “You’re an idiot,” he said affectionately. “I saw how scared you were on Friday.”

“He’s my friend and a good player, of course I was worried!” Louis protested.

“You didn’t have that same look on your face when we were in Hershey and Ed went down, and you two were roommates in college,” Harry argued, voice sounding far too cheerful for the subject matter because he knew he had Louis. “You were concerned and worried for Ed, but not terrified and on the verge of tears.”

“I was not on the verge of tears!” Louis crossed his arms, frowning. Harry just gave him a pointed look until Louis’ shoulders deflated. “So what if I was, it doesn’t change anything,” he murmured. 

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, frowning in concern.

“Even if I did like him- which I don’t-“ Harry rolled his eyes but didn’t interrupt Louis, “he’s on our biggest rival, lives an hour away, and I rarely see him. It was hard enough when Eleanor left me, okay? Relationships just aren’t easy when you’re on the road.”

Harry rolled his eyes again. “You’ve given me the same speech countless times, and yet most of your teammates are actually in relationships. Serious relationships.”

“And how many of them either cheat, get cheated on, or get dumped?” Louis asked, raising an eyebrow himself. 

“Touché,” Harry sighed. “Yes, a few hockey players,” he ignored the scoff from his friend, “might be serial cheaters. But not all of them are, and that’s not why Eleanor left.”

Louis sighed, looking down at the ground, where Bruce was laying, panting at their feet. “Eleanor left because she got tired of me, of the lifestyle.”

“You both wanted something different,” Harry said gently, placing his hand on Louis’ shoulder. 

“Spare me,” Louis laughed bitterly. “I got that enough from you.”

“I know how much her leaving tore you apart,” Harry said sadly. “I was there, Lou. I watched you go through that downward spiral; I learned just how many clubs this city actually has. I picked you up once you hit rock bottom.”

“Then why do you want to see me go through that again?” Louis asked, frowning. “Why would you want me to risk that, _if_ I even like him anyway?”

“Because you’re too young to be bitter and jaded and give up on love,” Harry sighed.

“Just because you have hearts in your eyes over Grimshaw doesn’t mean Cupid is ever going to come near me with his poison bow.”

Harry whistled low, shaking his head in amusement. “That’s a new level of bitterness even for you, Lou. You need to at least get laid.”

“Tell me about it,” Louis whined, flopping back against the bench. “Was looking forward to a quickie with Liam after the game. It’s been awhile.”

“You are ridiculous,” Harry laughed. “So blind.” He stood up, ignoring Louis flipping him off as he walked away, yelling goodbye.

Once Harry was out of sight, Louis sighed and looked back down at Bruce. “Well, pal, what do you think? Should we head home?” He laughed when Bruce just tilted his head, then stood up and got the dog back on leash so they could head back home.

Louis was beyond relieved to see a message from Nick when he got back to his apartment. He scanned it quickly, frowning. It seemed that Liam had passed most of the basic concussion tests, but he didn’t seem 100% yet. Because of that, Bressie advised that Liam be kept from practice for the week, and they would re-evaluate him before the weekend’s games. It was mostly good news, but the fact that Bressie wanted to hold Liam back made Louis a little nervous. He understood that it was mostly a precaution, and Bressie was one of the best athletic trainers in the league for a reason, but still. 

He opened the calendar on his phone, looking over his week. “Well, Bruce, it looks like after practice tomorrow, I’m free until Thursday morning. Think I should go surprise Liam with a bit of a visit, check up on him?” Bruce looked up at him, barked once, and then laid his head back down. “I’m going to take that as a yes,” he decided. 

Bruce lifted his head up again, staring at Louis. “Oi, you, don’t judge me,” Louis protested, sticking his tongue out at the dog. “I am merely a concerned friend.” Bruce huffed as if to say ‘sure you are’ before laying back down and promptly falling asleep. Louis rolled his eyes. Dogs.

-

The drive from Bridgeport to Hartford wasn’t as familiar as it should have been. He’d certainly done it often enough, with the amount of times the two teams played against each other. However, it was usually travelled by bus, and a lot of times at night after the game. 

Even though it was annoying having to drive the hour just to see Liam, Louis knew that it could be worse. He couldn’t imagine if he’d wound up with, say, his college teammate, Travis. Travis was one of his best friends in college, and he was the type of guy to be cool with drunkenly making out with his teammates. Louis, of course, took him up on that offer on many occasions. It never went further than that, but they’d both enjoyed it and just their friendship in general. Travis was currently playing for the San Diego Gulls. There would have been no way that Louis would be able to fly back and forth from San Diego for visits. At least Hartford was only an hour away.

Then again, this was his first time actually visiting Liam. Any other time he’d seen Liam, it was either before or after a game. He suddenly got nervous, thinking about what Harry had said the previous day at the park. What _would_ Liam think of this? Should he at least have called ahead, seen if it was okay?

And then it dawned on Louis, while he was filling up his gas tank just outside of Hartford: He didn’t even have Liam’s address. He’d just put the address to the arena into his GPS, figuring that he would go from there. Except… now he was realizing that he didn’t know what to actually do. Fuck.

He looked down at his phone. He knew that Harry would give him shit for it, but he didn’t know what else to do. So he texted Harry, asking for Nick’s number.

“Yes, Tomlinson?” So Harry warned Nick, then.

“I need a favor,” Louis sighed, “Please.”

“Well, well, well,” Nick snickered. “Look who it is.”

“I don’t think you _see_ anyone,” Louis muttered under his breath.

“Fuck off,” Nick said, but the light laughter proved that he was just joking around. “What’s up, kiddo?”

“Soooo, you know how you messaged me about Liam?”

“Yeah,” Nick said slowly. “Nothing’s really changed since then. Bressie’s still keeping Liam out of practice.”

“Do you think he’d be up for a visitor, though?” Louis asked, shifting anxiously from one foot to another. He wasn’t sure how weird it would be, him asking that. Sure, he had friends on a lot of rival teams, and yeah, he met up with them when he was in town or nearby and could pop in for a visit. But typically, he didn’t go out of his way to drive out to visit anyone during the season; that was usually during the off season. 

“I think he’d love a visitor,” Nick answered. “Niall’s been over there almost every day, from what I understand, and I think it’s driving Liam a little nuts. Of course, it’s because Liam was by Niall’s side through his injury. You nearby for a game?”

“Here’s the thing,” Louis said, getting everything finished up with the gas tank and then climbing back into his car. “I just… drove up on a whim.”

“And you’ve never been to his place so you want to know his address?”

“Oh, I’ve been to his place,” Louis said before he realized what he was saying, then turned beet red. 

“Have you?” Nick snickered. “I did always wonder about the mysterious bruises he’d come in with some mornings. Funny how they usually line up with when you’re in town.”

“Yeah, we’re fucking, big deal,” Louis sighed.

“ _Just_ fucking?” Nick asked, and Louis could practically _hear_ Nick’s eyebrow raise just in the skeptical tone of voice. “Harry’s been saying you’ve been a little off since the weekend. Thinks, and I agree, it might have something to do with Liam.”

“Of course it does,” Louis snapped back. “He’s been my friend for a while now. That’s all it is, I’m concerned as a friend.”

Luckily, Nick seemed to take pity on Louis and didn’t press the teasing much further. “Alright, you’re lucky I’ve got to head into the station in a few minutes so I can’t chat much longer. I’ll text you his address. Take it you want to surprise him?”

“Do you think that’d be okay?” Louis asked hesitantly.

“Probably, but let me text Niall. Warn him you’ll be coming up, so he can let me know how Liam is today. Does he know about the sex? Or at least that you guys are friends, so he won’t think you’re there to like, I don’t know, spy or some shit? He’s really into spy shit lately. Thinks he’s a regular James Bond.”

Louis couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh at that, his face crinkling up as he tried to imagine him and Niall being rival spies. There was no way. Every time he was around Niall, he could not stop laughing or making the other man laugh. He got pretty overprotective of him, too, because of everything that had happened, so they would be terrible rival spies. “I’m not sure he knows about the shagging, but I know the kid well. He knows I’m friends with Liam, too, so he probably won’t be that surprised.”

“Alright, let me text you the address and then text Niall. I’ll let you know if Niall thinks Liam wouldn’t be up for it, otherwise if you don’t hear from me then it’s fair game.”

“Thanks, Nick,” Louis breathed a sigh of relief. 

“No problem. See you for the game in a couple weeks?”

“You’ll be interviewing me about my game winning goal,” Louis snickered, smirking at the disapproving sound Nick made. They said their goodbyes and then hung up. 

As soon as Nick texted him the address, Louis entered it in his GPS and started the rest of the way over to Liam’s house. The closer he got, the more nervous that he got. He had Liam had spent plenty of time together the past year, he wasn’t sure why exactly he was so nervous. Sure, it had started out with mostly the rival, hate-sex type of shagging, but along the way they’d come to understand each other and form a friendship out of it. 

He was merely checking in on Liam as a concerned friend and rival, just like he had after Niall’s knee surgery. Nobody had questioned that, and he and Niall hadn’t even been that close at the time. But Liam was a wreck, and Louis had met Niall enough times to be worried as well.

When Louis pulled up into the driveway of the place that Liam was renting, he smiled when he saw Niall standing outside, obviously waiting for him. He turned off the car and stepped out, walking over to Niall. Niall opened his arms for him, hugging him tightly.

“How’s he doing?” Louis asked, scared of the answer.

“Good, he’s doing really well,” Niall smiled, stepping back. “Seems to be in high spirits and completely lucid, headaches are starting to go away.”

“Thank god,” Louis breathed, relaxing.

“Now maybe you’ll be more on your game?” Niall teased, raising an eyebrow.

“Not you, too,” Louis groaned, punching Niall lightly in the arm. “Utica is an asshole of a team, okay, that’s all.”

Niall laughed brightly, the laugh where he threw his whole head back. “Yes, that’s definitely what it is,” he teased, his eyes glimmering with amusement. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Tommo.”

Louis muttered a few choice swear words under his breath, which just made Niall laugh again. “Is he playing at all this weekend?” he asked, hoping to change the subject away from his own play.

Niall shook his head. “We, mostly Bressie, decided not to throw him into games just yet. He’s going to skate this weekend, do at least one no contact practice, and we’ll go from there. You know how concussions sometimes seem fine until you actually get into full speed on the ice.”

And Louis did know, both from personal experience and from many of his teammates and friends. “Well, it’s good news that he’s skating at least.”

“Definitely,” Niall grinned. “I’ll let you go see him, think he’s just watching some Netflix.”

“Thanks, Nialler.” Niall nodded, and patted Louis on the back before walking away, presumably to the place just a few houses down that he shared with Bressie.

Louis watched Niall go for a second before walking up to the house. Luckily, Niall had just left the front door open, so he was able to let himself in. He walked through the house, listening for the sound of the television.

“Oh good, Niall, you’re back, this show-“ Liam began when he heard the footsteps in the room, only to trail off when he looked up to see Louis standing there with a shy smile on his face. Liam’s face instantly lit up when he realized who it was, which was such a change from the first time that they really met.

_**A Year Prior** _

Normally, Louis tried to avoid running into players from the opposing teams when he was at the arena. For the most part, it seemed to work. 

Until the day he ran into Liam Payne, anyway. Quite literally. He was walking through the arena after practice, getting ready to leave and head home to begin his usual pregame ritual. Louis was looking down at his phone, when all of a sudden he felt himself pressed up against something solid. 

“Fuck, I’m s-“ the person started to say, only to cut himself off when he realized who it was. “Oh, it’s you,” Liam said, his voice harsh as he stared Louis down.

“Yep, it’s me,” Louis grinned. “Your favorite person in the world.”

“Favorite?” Liam snorted, shaking his head and crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Absolute favorite, might even go so far as saying your hockey idol,” Louis shrugged, a shit-eating grin on his face. He was about to continue when he felt himself suddenly pressed up against the wall. “What are you…” he asked, breath catching in his throat.

“Shutting you up,” Liam hissed, pressing his body close against Louis’. “Now either push me away or keep talking so I can continue to shut you up.”

Louis smirked, reaching up to tangle his hand in Liam’s hair and pull him in closer until their mouths met. Just like on the ice, they fought for dominance during the kiss. Louis bit on Liam’s lower lip, making the other man moan. Liam retaliated by sliding his fingers into Louis’ hair, pulling on it and sucking on Louis’ lower lip. While Louis was moaning, Liam pushed his tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss even more. 

Louis arched his body forward, tightening his arms around Liam. He continued to try and fight for dominance, but the more that Liam kissed him, the more that Louis found himself submitting and letting Liam take charge. They continue kissing for a few more moments before Liam pulled away.

“I’ve gotta go,” he groaned. “Team’s gonna be looking for me.”

“See you later, then,” Louis groaned, reaching down to grope Liam’s ass before the man stepped away.

“See you losing later,” Liam winked.

“Oi!” Louis laughed, shoving at Liam. “Get out of here, twat.” Liam winked before walking away.

_**Present Day** _

“Hey, Payno,” Louis smiled, walking the rest of the way into the room and sitting down on the couch next to Liam.

“What are you doing here?!” Liam asked, twisting so that he could wrap his arms around Louis, who pulled him in for a tight hug.

“Had today and tomorrow off, figured I’d drive over and do a surprise assessment of Niall’s nursing,” Louis replied with a grin.

“He’s been wonderful,” Liam laughed, shifting so that he could sit next to Louis and rest his head on his shoulder. 

Louis nodded in approval. “Good. I might be a little upset otherwise.” 

“Bit weird, huh?” Liam asked, a tired smile on his face. They had lapsed into a comfortable silence while Liam focused on his show.

“Hmm?” Louis asked.

“Me and you. Like this,” Liam shrugged with a laugh. “Hanging out as friends.”

Louis laughed and squeezed Liam’s shoulders. “Hate to break it to you, Payno, but I think we’ve been friends for a while now. Not just about rivals and hate anymore.”

“Shut up, the sex is still about that.” Liam whined.

“Alright, fair enough,” Louis shrugged with a grin. And Liam did have a point. Usually when they met, it was quick, dirty, sex before or after a game. 

_**Two Months Prior** _

Louis was over the moon. It had been a spectacular win for the Sound Tigers, shutting out the Wolf Pack. Even better, Louis had completely gotten under Payne’s skin. By the end of the game, Liam had become so frustrated with Louis that he’d nearly dropped the gloves. For Louis, that was almost a win in and of itself. Liam had never fought in his career, so even just getting the man to think about it was a win for Louis.

He was walking through the halls of the arena, when he suddenly found himself pressed against the wall. “You are the fucking worst,” Liam growled into Louis’ ear, pushing their bodies together.

“Pretty sure I’m actually the best,” Louis quipped, rolling his hips up.

“Worst,” Liam corrected, biting down Louis’ neck in quick nips. 

Louis held back a moan, trying not to just bare his neck for Liam. Instead, he focused his energy on catching Liam off guard. He pushed Liam, flipping them so Liam had his back against the wall instead. “Best,” he smirked, biting the skin above Liam’s birthmark.

“Fuck,” Liam groaned, reaching down to grab Louis’ ass. “You have a bus to catch?” 

“Nope, hotel tonight.”

“Good,” Liam smirked. He pushed Louis off of him, and grabbed his hand. He pulled him down the hall, pushing the smaller man into the small office. 

Almost as soon as the door was closed and locked behind them, Liam was on top of Louis. Their lips met in an angry clash of teeth, bodies pressed together against the solid door. Louis found that he could barely even get a moan in, their kiss was that intense. 

“You are such,” Liam muttered after a few minutes of heated kissing, nipping down Louis’ neck, “a fucking prick.” He punctuated each word with a nip of his teeth, each graze shooting through right down to Louis’ dick.

“Not my fault you can’t handle playing against me,” Louis retorted, left hand sliding into Liam’s hair and gripping it tight. He pulled on it, forcing Liam’s head back so their lips could meet again.

Liam groaned into Louis’ mouth, rocking his hips forward. “You play dirty,” he muttered, reaching down to lift Louis up.

“I’ll show you dirty,” Louis growled, wrapping his legs around Liam. He pushed down, forcing their bodies even closer together.

“Fuck,” Liam muttered, grinding down against Louis. He leaned in to press more kisses and nip down Louis’ neck, wanting to get at Louis’ collarbones but the suit that he was wearing prevented that.

“No marks,” Louis warned, tugging on Liam’s hair to pull him away from his neck. 

Liam rolled his eyes, “I’m sure your team is going to guess what you’re up to since you’re not in the hotel.”

“Still,” Louis shrugged, tightening his legs around Liam.

Liam stepped away from the door, carrying Louis across the room. He reached out, shoving everything off the desk, laying Louis back against it and towering over him.

“Cliché,” Louis groaned, but didn’t pull back. It might have been, but that didn’t stop it from being incredibly hot.

“Shut up or you get nothing,” Liam warned.

“Still waiting for you to prove you can handle me,” Louis shrugged, raising his eyebrow in challenge.

“Oh yeah?” Liam growled, reaching down pressing their bodies together. “Pretty sure I can handle you perfectly well.” He mirrored Louis’ raised eyebrow and used one hand to grab Louis’ wrists, holding them above his head.

That was a new development. Louis tried to act like it didn’t affect him at all, but it did. It so did. He tried to pull his arms out of Liam’s grip, but Liam’s grip just tightened. “Fuck,” he muttered, glaring at Liam for the smug look on his face.

“Still think I can’t handle you?” Liam asked, rolling his hips against Louis’.

“Maybe,” Louis bit back, but his voice was shakier than he wanted it to be.

Liam smirked, using his free hand to reach down and start to undo Louis’ suit pants, sliding his hand inside and groping Louis.

“I like that kind of handling,” Louis gasped, bucking his hips up. 

“Good,” Liam muttered. He pushed Louis back enough that he could climb up on the desk as well. “Keep your hands there,” he ordered, pleasantly surprised when Louis actually complied even after Liam let his hands go.

Part of Louis wanted to fight back, keep up the fight for dominance, but it was almost like he couldn’t deny himself that little bit. He could still fight back in other ways. He was distracted from thinking too much on it, however, when he saw Liam reach down to undo his own pants. He shoved them around his hips, then did the same with Louis’ pants. Once Liam was satisfied, he reached back up and gripped Louis’ hands again.

Louis pulled at Liam’s grip, swallowing back the moan when he found he couldn’t move. “Come on,” he groaned, arching his hips up and letting out a startled moan when their dicks rubbed together. “You stalled enough on the ice, thought you’d be a little better in the sack.”

The words got the desired effect. Liam growled, rocking his hips forward. Rather than say anything, though, he leaned in to kiss Louis. Their bodies rocked together, kissing all the while. 

Eventually, it got to just be too difficult for them to keep concentration on the kissing. Liam pulled his lips away from Louis’, instead pressing his face into the nape of Louis’ neck. No words fell from their lips. The room was filled with only the sounds of their grunts and moans, and skin slipping.

When they were getting close to their orgasm, Liam reached down with his free hand between them. He wrapped his hand around both of their dicks, jerking them off fast and rough.

“Fuck,” Louis cried out hoarsely, hips bucking up as his orgasm suddenly washed over him. Liam wasn’t far behind, hissing out Louis’ name. 

He collapsed down on top of Louis, panting heavily. “Still think you’re a twat,” he muttered, grinning down at Louis.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Louis beamed, making Liam shake his head. He pulled back, reaching for some tissues to clean them up.

“Sorry, Brez,” Liam snickered, tossing the tissues into the garbage and then standing up, tucking himself back into his pants. He held his hand out to Louis, who stood up and redressed himself as well. Liam smacked Louis on the ass before walking out of the room, leaving Louis standing there and shaking his head.

_**Present Day** _

There was something strangely familiar in being so close to Liam. Even though they were sort of friends, they’d still never just… sat like this. It felt like they’d known each other for years, made something feel warm inside of Louis. Something that he didn’t quite understand the implications of. He let it settle into him, enveloping him in its warmth. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that Liam had what was probably a very similar look to Louis’ on his face. Liam looked warm and relaxed, and most importantly, comfortable. 

It was nice. 

Maybe a little too nice, if Louis was being honest with himself, but he didn’t want to think about the connotations that might have. Instead, he just focused on relaxing with Liam, spending time with him and taking care of him whenever Liam needed help.

-

Thursdays after practice are Louis’ favorite non-game days of the week. The one thing that Louis never got used to, even after four years of university and nearly three years in the AHL, was being away from his family. His mother was one of his best friends, and he adored the shit out of his sisters and brother. He was upset at the idea of not seeing the baby twins grow up, so he wanted family time any way he could get it. He and his mom devised a plan for every Thursday he wasn’t stuck on a bus. He would get on Skype and have a movie night or a game night with whichever of the kids happened to be around. 

That particular Thursday, everyone planned to be around. Louis had bought the girls a copy of **_Inside Out_** after watching it while babysitting for a teammate, and that was the plan for the evening. Even Lottie, who was usually kept busy with cosmetology school and a new boyfriend, was going to be there to watch it. 

While Lottie and Fizzy gathered all the kids together and went about making some snacks, Louis and Jay had a chat. “How have you been, love?” Jay asked, concern in her voice immediately. “You’ve looked a little off the past couple of games.”

Louis frowned. First Harry said he was off, then Niall, now even his mom. What was going on? “Just been a little distracted, that’s all,” he sighed. 

“Worrying about Liam?” she asked.

Suddenly, Louis regretted sharing so much with his mother. He wanted to lie to her, tell her no, but she’d see through him in a heartbeat. Had been able to since as long as he could remember, but ever since he was about 9, she’d really been able to read him.

_**Twelve Years Ago** _

Sometimes Louis really, really, _really_ hated hockey. All he wanted to do was go and play with his friends. The parents of one of his classmates had just set up an ice rink in their backyard, and all the boys in the class were eager to play. Louis was revved up, anxious to put his skates on. He wouldn’t shut up about it all day, to the point where his best friend, Mary, finally told him to shut up already. The day dragged on, especially after a spelling pop quiz that Louis definitely flunked. Even that didn’t bring his mood down, though, because it was almost time for his first friendly skate of the year! Practices and games for his league team had already gotten underway, but this would be the first time that he’d be playing with and against his classmates outdoors for the year. While many of his friends were also in leagues, as seemed to be a requirement of growing up in Minnesota, Louis was one of the few on a very competitive, very skilled young team. He knew that he’d be one of the first ones picked; he just knew that he was going to be on a team that would kick some butt.

Except he didn’t get picked first. Or second. Or third. Or seventh. Instead, he found himself standing alone on the ice after all the other teams had been filled. Somehow, not only did he not get picked, but they’d even made it so that he was the odd one out. 

“You should go play with the girls,” one of the kids who always teased Louis suggested, a cruel look on his face. “You’re practically one of them, aren’t you?” He laughed loudly.

“You’re so much like them you even like boys,” another kid sang, laughing. “No room for you here with the real boys.” 

The mocking continued with another few boys until Louis turned around and fled, trying to ignore the sounds of laughing boys behind him as he did so. He was shaking as he hid off to the side, yanking his skates off and pulling his sneakers on instead. He ran straight home, hoping to just sneak up to his room to cry and be left alone. He’d never felt so humiliated in his life; what did they even mean by liking boys? Louis just liked _hockey_. 

Thankfully, when Louis got home, his mother was busy with Lottie. He managed to sneak into his room and burrow under the blankets, hoping that his mother wouldn’t notice that he’d come in earlier than he said he was going to.

He got away with it for about ten minutes before there was a knock at his door. “Louis, honey?” 

“Yeah,” he muttered, voice hoarse. He wiped his eyes quickly, trying to make it seem like he wasn’t crying. He really didn’t want her to know what had happened.

“Are you okay?” Jay asked as she walked in, sitting next to him on the bed and handing him a steaming cup of hot cocoa. His favorite kind, with a cinnamon stick in it.

“Yeah, why?” Louis said, proud of himself for how steady his voice sounded when he’d been crying just a few minutes earlier.

“You’re home early,” she said, brushing his hair back from his face.

Louis shrugged. “Game was cancelled. He had to go do something with his family.”

“Really?” Jay asked, raising an eyebrow. She brushed her thumb under his eye, surely feeling the dried tears that were there even though he’d done his best to brush them away. “I think you’re lying to me, Boo. What actually happened?”

Louis frowned, trying his hardest to not spill what had happened. But she had that look on her face, the one that made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Like she was his safety blanket, and would protect him from anything in the world. So he caved, shoulders slumping and eyes watering up again as he explained. “None of the boys picked me,” he murmured.

“None?!” Jay asked, clearly shocked. “How could none of them pick you? You had the most goals last season in the entire league!”

Louis shrugged, chewing at his fingers. “Dunno,” he murmured, refusing to look up at her.

Jay sighed, wrapping an arm around her boy and pulling him into her side. “What happened, love?”

“They said I should play with the girls,” he whispered, voice barely loud enough for his mother to hear. “They said I like boys so I can’t play with them.”

Louis felt Jay tense up, knowing that meant that she was angry. He was glad that when she actually spoke, though, she was gentle with him. “Oh, Boo Bear,” she sighed, running her arm up and down his arm while he took a shaky sip of the cocoa. “You should be able to play wherever you want. Do you like boys?”

Louis’ face wrinkled, and he frowned into his cocoa. “I like hockey, mom! Why would I want a girlfriend _or_ boyfriend?” He made a face, huffing out an annoyed sound.

The answer certainly startled a laugh out of Jay, who hugged him tightly to her. “That’s okay, brilliant boy. We’ll focus on hockey, and when you get old enough, we’ll talk about boys and girls again, okay?” Louis just shrugged, snuggling closer into his mom’s side and focusing on his cocoa. Everything he felt earlier seemed to relax out of him while his mom spoke in soft tones to him.

_**Present Day** _

“I drove up to visit him,” Louis admitted.

Jay blinked in surprise. “Really? How did that go?”

Louis shrugged, looking down at his fingers. “Wasn’t bad. Just felt like hanging out with an old friend, I guess. Not like… rivals on the ice, you know?”

“And not just jumping into bed together the moment you see each other?” Jay teased, laughing when her son’s face went bright red.

“MOM!” Louis cried, covering his face with his hands and groaning.

“I was young once,” she snickered, her laughter growing louder as he got even more uncomfortable. She calmed down after a moment, shaking her head in amusement. “So it felt too much like friends, and you want more?” She pressed gently, once her laughter had quieted down and Louis’ hands fell from his face.

“I don’t know, mom,” Louis sighed. “It was nice, just… spending that time with someone, curling up in bed with them at night because you want to be there, not… you know.” He blushed, not wanting to directly say it. He knew his mom would pick up what he meant, though. “But I don’t… know. I don’t know what he wants, if it’s just about sex for him. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know… if we both wanted it, if I even wanted to risk it, you know?”

“I know losing Eleanor hurt,” Jay said, frowning slightly. “But you can’t let one girl walking out of your life keep you away from finding love with someone new.”

“I was with her for four, almost five, years,” Louis sighed. “That’s… she was it for me.”

“Was she?” Jay asked, raising an eyebrow. “Was she really? I thought that about Troy. I was devastated when he left, but eventually I had to learn to move on because maybe, someone better was going to come along.”

“But then you lost Mark, too,” Louis said, voice soft and barely audible.

“I did, but I cherished the time I had with him. I wouldn’t have the girls if it wasn’t for him, just like I wouldn’t have you if it wasn’t for Troy. But now I have Dan. If I’d given up after Mark, I wouldn’t have met the man who I know is my soulmate. There might be some stumbles along the way, some more hurt, but it’s worth that risk,” Jay said. “You’ll never know if he’s the one, if you don’t take a chance.”

Louis nodded, chewing at his nail. “I’ll think about it… I don’t know if he even wants me, you know?”

“Stop chewing your nails,” Jay scolded Louis, who immediately dropped his hand into his lap. “I know, baby. I know. Just think about it, try and figure out what you feel for him. It’s okay if it’s just physical, you can keep that up. But if you are wondering if it might be more, you have to go after him or you’ll never know.”

Louis gave her a sad smile, wishing so badly that he could just go up to her and hug her right then. “Miss you,” he muttered.

“Miss you, too, Boo Bear. Now go on, pull yourself together. The girls are ready for the movie.” She smiled, blowing him a kiss before getting up to go get the DVD he’d sent them set up.

Louis closed his eyes for a moment, pulling himself together, ready to focus on his family instead of Liam. As Louis expected, his siblings all loved the movie. Even Lottie did, and she liked to act like she was too cool for anything “childish”. 

He caught up with each of them individually after the movie, finding out about what they’d gotten up to in the week before. He learned that Lottie had started babysitting for her favorite teacher, Lou, and was excelling in her classes. Fizzy had decided to run for Class President, and had joined the Model UN. If anyone was going to change the world for the better, Louis decided, it was Felicite. Phoebe and Daisy were both little athletes in their own right; Phoebe was into hockey, and Daisy did figure skating during the winter and soccer in the summer. The baby twins were still too young to really talk much with him, but he could at least talk at them and see their happy faces.

After Louis hung up the Skype call, he realized how lucky he was to get to share these moments with his family. They really were the best.

-

That weekend on the schedule were a couple of games in Toronto against the Marlies, and Louis knew that he had to be on his game against them. Luckily, the visit with Liam and seeing that he really was doing better seemed to bring some of the life back into Louis, and help him focus.

Their first game went off without a hitch. It was a damn near perfect win, and Louis was buzzing in his skin with excitement. He was still buzzing before the game the next day, ready to go into it and steal another win away. The game started off well, with the Sound Tigers up a goal after the end of the first period, until suddenly, everything changed.

He and Zayn Malik had been going back and forth the whole game, trading insults and rough plays. It was typical whenever he played against Zayn, and he got a certain thrill out of getting under the skin of someone he hated playing against so much. They had been going back and forth since their college days. 

In their junior year, they were playing against each other in an important conference game. Ed had just stolen the puck from Zayn’s teammate, Justin, and sent it down the ice. Long after the puck was gone, though, Justin threw a very dirty, dangerous, hit. Ed went down, and Louis flew in to try and defend his line mate and best friend. Rather than go for Louis, though, Justin continued in on Ed, taunting him and going to try and punch him. Louis tried to get Justin off, but wound up getting tangled up with Zayn, who was taunting both Ed and Louis. 

While Justin never really stopped playing a cheap, dirty, game, constantly finding himself suspended, Zayn had mostly calmed his game down. He still held some kind of grudge against Louis, but they generally just kept it to chirping on the ice, never actually throwing dirty plays at each other. 

Still, one thing they had never been to each other was nice. So it took Louis by surprise when, in the middle of a play, Zayn yelled “Careful, bro!” to Louis.

Louis was so startled that he barely had time to react to Zayn’s words. They were flying at each other in open ice, both at full speed and neither able to fully stop. Louis had been watching the puck, and hadn’t seen Zayn coming in his direction until the other man yelled. Because of Zayn’s warning, he was able to twist his body at least enough to avoid a full on collision. Unfortunately, in the twisting motion, his right leg suddenly gave out underneath him. 

Before the refs could even whistle for play to stop, Zayn was frantically waving for a trainer to come over. Louis was collapsed on the ice, groaning and clutching at his leg. By the time Jamie ran over, Louis was already doing his best to try to get up on his own, but he kept stumbling right at the last second.

“What the hell are you doing, you idiot?” Jamie scolded. “At least let me try and check if it’s broken or not.” Louis rolled his eyes, but complied. He let Jamie feel around his leg, then nod. “Okay, let’s try and get you up. Don’t push it, though.” Stan skated over, coming to help them.

“Okay,” Louis said through gritted teeth. He leaned his weight on Jamie and Stan, letting them pull him up. Once he was on his skates, Louis shifted to get his balance back. He nodded, skating off mostly on his own. He held his hand up to acknowledge the cheering crowd, and immediately sat down on the bench.

“You sure?” Jamie frowned at Louis, who nodded in reply. He couldn’t let his team down, he had to stay in the game. He could skate it off, it wasn’t like it was the first injury he’d played through.

The surge of adrenaline he’d felt right before getting hurt lasted through his next shift, but as he skated back to the bench and went to sit back down, he suddenly felt an excruciating pain, to the point where he felt woozy with it. 

“Lou,” his coach said, leaning across the benches to wave his hand in front of Louis’ face. “Tomlinson,” Julian said again, frowning.

Louis blinked, shaking his head. “Yeah, Coach? I’m good, just need to rest a couple shifts then I’ll be good to get out there.”

“I don’t think so,” Julian frowned, standing up straight. 

“I can do it,” Louis argued, crossing his arms over his chest in protest.

“No,” Julian said, his voice firm. “And that is final. Take Jamie and get checked out, and maybe if you’re lucky I’ll put you back in for the third. For now, you’re off the ice. Calvin, you’re in his spot.”

Louis tried to argue his point, but he could tell by the look on Julian’s face that he wasn’t going to budge. He grumbled a few choice swear words under his breath but made his way off the ice and down the tunnel into the locker room, each step hurting more than the last.

-

As soon as Louis sat down in the locker room, he knew what the problem was. He was absolutely infuriated. “Let me guess,” he growled, “Pulled groin.”

“Hurt more sitting down than skating?” Jamie asked, reaching in to feel the muscles. “And hurt when you walked?”

Louis nodded, then gritted his teeth when Jamie found a particularly tender spot. “Yep,” he sighed. “Fuck. I’ve fucking worked so hard to avoid this.”

“You pulled your groin in college, right?” Jamie asked, thinking back to what he knew of Louis’ injury history.

“Yep, pretty badly, too. I made sure after that to do all the proper conditioning in order to avoid having another one…. Shit,” Louis frowned.

Jamie patted Louis on the shoulder. “Nothing you could have done differently to prevent this, kid. Freak accident type of play.” He walked over to the small freezer that was there and pulled out an ice pack. “You’re lucky Malik warned you. Could have been a pretty serious injury if he hadn’t.”

Louis hissed at the cold of the ice pack, but nodded. “I know. Still frustrating, though.”

“Should only be out a month or two if you’re careful and take good care of it. You know what that means, though, right?”

“No activities that could strain it, including practicing and sex,” Louis gave a resigned sigh, a pout on his face.

“Exactly,” Jamie said. “Go ahead and change. You’re not back in this game.” Louis grumbled and made a face, but stood up. “Here’s a light painkiller and anti-inflammatory. Take one for now, hang out here during this period. Greg’ll be back to interview the boys after the period, then you can go hang out with him for the third. Have some food, then take another pill if you need it.”

Louis nodded, thanking Jamie and then shoving him out of the room so he could get back out to the benches in case they needed him. 

-

Two days into his injury, Louis was already feeling stir crazy. He didn’t do well when he was left to his own devices, and usually liked to get his pent up energy out with a skate or shooting drill. Jamie had given him strict orders not to do anything during the first week- had even texted him to remind him- so Louis could do nothing. He’d had Harry over for a few hours the day before, and Greg had stopped by that afternoon, but for the most part it was just him and Bruce. 

It certainly wasn’t the first time that he was forced to rest because of injury. It was, however, the first time that he’d been properly alone to deal with it. In college, he’d always had someone around to entertain him. And then there had been Eleanor. When she wasn’t working at a local boutique, she was happy to take care of Louis when he was injured. She would make sure Bruce got in all his walks, that Louis was eating as scheduled and not doing anything he shouldn’t. She was always sure to whack some sense into him if he got too whiny, and most importantly, she had always kept him entertained and given him plenty of cuddles.

Bruce looked up at Louis, as if he could sense what was on Louis’ mind. The dog gave Louis a sad look, and Louis let out a sad laugh. “I know, bud,” he murmured, “I miss her, too.” 

And he did, desperately so sometimes. It wasn’t even so much the heartbreak that hurt anymore. It had taken him awhile, but eventually his heart had moved past that hurt. Really, Louis missed her company. They’d always had so much fun together, and this apartment was just too _quiet_ without her around. 

“Fuck, this sucks,” Louis groaned, throwing his head back against the couch. 

Just when he was about to give in and go take a nap purely out of boredom, there was a knock at Louis’ door. He frowned. He hadn’t been expecting anyone. Stan was out with his girlfriend that day, and both Harry and Greg usually just barged in when they wanted to hang out. 

He shrugged and carefully stood up, face scrunching up at the pain. When he saw who was on the other side of the door, he was shocked.

“Hello!” Liam said cheerfully, pushing his way inside. There was an overnight bag slung over his shoulder, and in one hand he held a bag of KFC. “Thought you might be hungry and a bit bored.”

“You-… I… what?!” Louis blinked, shutting the door behind him and shushing Bruce when he started to bark at the newcomer. 

Liam set his bags down and crouched down to greet Bruce, laughing as the dog started licking his face. “Some guard dog you’ve got here, Tommo.”

“How…” Louis trailed off, blinking again and trying to process the fact that Liam Payne was standing in his living room. Liam Payne, who had never been to his place before.

Liam let out a bright laugh. “I do check Twitter, idiot.” He stood up, patting Bruce one more time and then walking over to make himself at home on the couch. “Your team tweeted about the injury and I saw the picture Greg posted of you two.”

At the reminder of the picture, Louis grimaced. Greg had decided that it would be funny to take advantage of how sleepy Louis’ painkillers made him. When he had fallen asleep for a nap, Greg had drawn little designs all over his face in sharpie, then woken Louis up so they could take a selfie together before Louis even realized what Greg had done. “I’m gonna kill him,” Louis muttered, trying to sound exasperated but it just came off as fond. 

“That’s how I feel about Nick,” Liam grinned. “Media teams, right?”

“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis sighed dramatically, limping over to the couch and carefully sitting down.

“Exactly.” 

They sat in easy silence for a while, eating and concentrating on the episode of the Walking Dead that Louis had started. They wound up engrossed in the show, and one episode turned into another, into another. By the time Louis decided to get up, he realized that he had leaned his head on Liam’s shoulder. He blushed deeply, and went to get up.

“No, no, sit,” Liam scolded. “You need to rest. What do you need?”

“Well if you insist,” Louis leaned back. “There’s an ice pack in the freezer, and if it’s not a bother, a cup of tea would be nice?”

“Can do,” Liam grinned, walking over to the kitchen. 

When he heard Liam puttering around in the kitchen, Louis let out a shaky sigh. Not only was Liam suddenly there, but he was helping out. He didn’t know if Liam was there because he genuinely wanted to be, or if he was just returning the favor but… either way, he was there. 

Just when he started to get a bit lost in his thoughts, Liam’s voice pulled him out. “How do you take your tea?” He called from the kitchen.

“Just a splash of milk,” Louis called back, hating how distracted his voice sounded. If Liam noticed, though, he didn’t say anything. He just continued to whistle to himself, opening and closing cabinets and making Louis wonder just what the hell he was even doing.

A few minutes later, Louis found out. Liam walked out, balancing two mugs in one hand, and an ice pack and bag of chips in the other. Louis took the mugs, setting them down on the coffee table and then taking the ice pack. “You’re the best,” he sighed happily, placing the ice pack in the right spot.

“Still hurt?” Liam asked, voice sympathetic, once he sat down.

Louis made a face and nodded, reaching for the tea. “Yeah. Just a dull pain, hurts after time when I’m sitting.”

“Do you need to take your meds?” Liam asked, his voice full of concern.

“Did not long before you got here,” Louis smiled, taking a sip of the tea. “I’m good, don’t worry.”

Liam studied him, considering. Louis felt small under Liam’s gaze; like somehow, Liam could read every inch of him and know his deepest secrets. It was unnerving. Harry could read Louis like a book, understood him inside and out, and even his gaze never quite felt like this. “Alright,” Liam finally said, turning his attention back to the television.

Louis let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d even been holding before turning back to the show as well, slowly sipping his tea. He relaxed as the show went on and the warmth of the tea settled through him. “Do appreciate the company, though,” he threw in, not wanting to make Liam feel completely unwanted. 

“Lonely, huh?” Liam teased… sort of. Louis could tell that he was trying to tease, but it just came out fonder than anything.

Louis flushed, then nodded. “Yeah. Haz and Greg have stopped by a bit, but mostly it’s just been me and Bruce.”

“Well, you’ve got me for now,” Liam grinned.

“Good. How long are you staying for?”

Liam shrugged. “Until you kick me out? I don’t have practice tomorrow, so I can stay the night tonight. Little bummed I can’t play against you in my comeback game,” he teased, elbowing Louis lightly.

Louis’ eyes lit up. “You’re playing this weekend?”

“Sure am,” Liam beamed, clapping his hands together in his excitement before reaching for the hot cocoa he’d made himself.

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” Louis breathed, unable to keep the grin off of his face. He knew that it should have been a bit weird that he was so excited about his rival coming back. His team had even less of a chance of winning with Liam back, after all. But he never liked to see anyone out of the game with injuries, period. Of course, Liam was also his friend, so he wanted him back playing even more.

“Right?” Liam laughed, sipping his cocoa. “I hate being injured, I always feel like I am letting my team down.”

Louis rolled his eyes at that. “It’s not like you injured yourself being dumb. You can’t help it, and it’s good you didn’t rush back into it. You’re, like, one of the best captains in the league. Hell, maybe even one of the best captains in _hockey_. You could never let your team down.”

Liam blinked in surprise, clearly a little startled by Louis’ impassioned speech. Hell, even Louis himself was a little taken aback by it. He had no idea where it had come from. All he knew was that he didn’t like when Liam put himself down, something that he was learning happened more than anyone might have thought. Apparently it was suddenly Louis’ mission to change that, to make Liam see just how incredible he was, both on and off the ice.

Louis wasn’t sure what, exactly, that meant. So rather than dwelling on it, he quickly changed the subject back to the pros and cons of the writers of the show killing Carl off (almost 99% pros, really, in their opinion).

They remained on the couch for the rest of the night, Liam occasionally getting up to get some snacks or drinks. By the time midnight hit, they were curled up together in a nest of blankets, dog at their feet, and snacks and empty mugs and glasses scattered on the table in front of them. That was how they fell asleep, to the soundtrack of walkers grunting and yelling as the show continued to play in the background.

-

It wasn’t until Liam left that Louis really sat back and thought about everything. They had spent the time together in easy company, curled together in front of the television. At the time, Louis hadn’t thought anything of it. It wasn’t that different from when he’d been at Liam’s, after all. 

Wasn’t it something, though? Louis wondered. They had both been so quick to drop what was going on in order to take care of the other for a night or two. Sure, Louis had other visitors, and so did Liam. For as much as he tried to convince himself that’s all it was, though, Louis couldn’t help but wonder if it was different. He didn’t drop everything and drive out of his way to visit any of his other friends. Sure, many of them were a lot further away, but still. The thought had never even really occurred to him to do anything other than call and chat.

So why was Liam different? What was it about their relationship that made them both do that? Louis thought back to what his mother had said to him the last time he’d talked with her about Liam. Could it be that Liam liked him, too? No, he couldn’t just… assume that! He shook his head frantically, trying to push the thoughts out of the way and focus instead on the game of FIFA that he had set up with Ed.

Thank God for Xbox Live, really. Louis didn’t get to see Ed very often, so playing video games against each other was the best way for them to just catch up every couple of weeks. 

“Edzo!” Louis cheered as soon as he saw Ed signed on.

“Heya Tommo,” Ed laughed. “How’s it going?”

“Good, good,” Louis replied as he started setting up the game. “You know, as good as it can be being laid up with a damn injury.”

Ed laughed a little, and Louis knew the man well enough to know he was shaking his head in amusement. “I can’t believe you pulled your damn groin again.” 

Louis groaned, “Tell me about it. It was horrible enough the first time.”

“Which is worse,” Ed asked, cursing when his player missed a goal, “not being able to have sex, or the pain?”

“Not being able to have sex,” Louis replied immediately. “The pain sucks, hurts like a bitch, but not getting laid sucks.”

They lapsed into silence for a few seconds, each focusing on a particularly intense part of the game before Ed spoke up again. “I bet. Were you still fucking around with Liam before the injury?”

Louis flushed, laughing a little. “Shit, I forgot you knew about that. Yeah… we still fuck around when our teams play.”

“So now you don’t get to see him at all, huh?” Ed said sympathetically.

“Actually, he stopped by yesterday,” Louis admitted.

“WHAT?!” Ed yelled, making Louis flinch at the loud sound in his headphones. “Even though you couldn’t have sex? How long did he stay?”

“He, uh, stayed the night.”

“Shit,” Ed whistled low. “Even without the sex?”

“Yes, even without the sex,” Louis rolled his eyes.

“Well, fuck. So are you guys, like, a thing then?” 

Louis sighed, frowning a little and then cursing when the momentary distraction caused his goalie to let in a goal. “No? I don’t know? It’s just, he makes me feel weird.”

“Weird like butterflies in your stomach?” Ed cooed, laughing when Louis made disgusted sounds. “Weird like, how then? Like… when you first started realizing you liked El?”

Louis frowned, remaining quiet for a moment while he thought about it. Was it the same feeling? He hadn’t thought about it much after he’d left Liam’s. It wasn’t until Liam left his apartment that had Louis questioning his feelings. “Maybe? I’m not sure. I don’t really… want to go through it, you know? Go through the potential hurt. It’s not like he lives here. I don’t see him that often.”

“Do you like him?” Ed cut in.

Louis flushed. “I mean… yeah.”

“Does he like you?”

“I have no idea,” Louis admitted. “I mean he came to visit me, but maybe that was just him being a good friend because I visited him after his injury.”

Ed made an agreeing sound, focusing on a penalty shot for the moment before replying. “Well, don’t give up on it before it even starts. Just because you and Elz didn’t work out doesn’t mean every relationship will end that way. Just have fun with him, like you did in the beginning with Eleanor. Try and spend time together when you can.”

“Even if it’s just quickies after games once I can play again?” Louis laughed.

“It’s something,” Ed shrugged with a laugh. “So how are the girls?”

Louis happily launched into a story about Fizzy, and the subject of Liam was effectively dropped for the rest of their game.

Of course, even though the actual conversation was dropped, Louis couldn’t quite get the idea of dating Liam out of his mind.

-

There was a skip in Louis’ step when he left training several weeks later. Jamie finally cleared him to be able to play, and it felt so good. He hated so much about being injured. It wasn’t just the boredom and loneliness that he hated, but also knowing that he couldn’t be out there, helping the team. He hated that feeling, hated watching the team lose and not being there to contribute.

All the team seemed to be doing was losing. Calvin had taken Louis’ spot up on the second line, trying to fill Louis’ role. It hadn’t worked; there was no chemistry between him, Stan, and Oli. Not only that, but where Louis played the part of the pest on the right side of the rules, Calvin was the opposite. He wasn’t always a dirty player, per se, but he played with an edge and sometimes took it a bit too far. Louis hoped that being back in the lineup would work better, Calvin pushed down into a fourth line role and Louis bringing the offense that the team so desperately needed.

It felt like Louis was flying when he skated out onto the ice at practice that morning. The ice felt crisp, the arena that perfect cold that energized him. He was out on the ice before the rest of the team, and took full advantage of that. 

Louis started out slow, just testing his range of movement. Jamie had warned him to start slower, and for once he was actually listening. He did slow laps at first until he was satisfied that everything felt okay. Once he was satisfied, he began working on some shooting drills, greeting his teammates as they began to trickle onto the ice. 

All of them, except Calvin. Calvin glared at him, rolling his eyes and turning to Tom, talking with him as they warmed up for the practice.

Louis shrugged it off, thinking nothing of it. He and Calvin just had the kind of friendship where one minute they’d get along great, and the next they would just kind of… ignore each other. So Louis just assumed that’s what was going on.

It continued all through practices, with Calvin even purposely throwing a few minor hits Louis’ way when they did a mini-scrimmage. Louis laughed it off, thinking it was good for his conditioning and to get him back in game mode, and started shoving Calvin around. Really, it was something that Louis did with his teammates all the time; he thought nothing of it. A little pushing and shoving was par for the course when it came to their friendships.

“Alright, enough,” Stan ordered as he skated over, an exasperated but amused expression on his face. “Some of us actually have work to do.”

“Aye aye, Captain!” Louis saluted. He started skating off, throwing a light hip check to Stan as he passed him. Stan rolled his eyes but skated after him, both of them completely oblivious to the dark look in Calvin’s eyes when he lingered behind.

-

After two practices with the team, Jamie was satisfied with the progress Louis had made. He wasn’t feeling any pain anymore, and the stiffness with which he had been moving had all but gone. Therefore, Louis was cleared to play in their game against Syracuse that weekend. 

Louis was absolutely buzzing with excitement in the days leading up to the game. He’d texted Liam to let him know he would be playing in two days, and received a million exclamation points and happily misspelled texts in celebration. (That certainly didn’t help his little crush to go away.) He talked the ear off anyone who would listen, until everyone started to ignore him. At least Greg listened to him, he was good for that. Then again… Greg was also paid to listen when he would interview Louis after practice. He still listened, though, and without a vaguely annoyed expression on his face.

When it came time for the game, Louis felt alive. His pre-game nap was the most satisfying one in a long time. It wasn’t because he was just that tired; rather, it meant that he was back in the swing of things and actually, finally, getting to play. A month and a half wasn’t the longest he’d ever been out with an injury, but it was still long enough to drive him a bit insane. After all, Louis lived and breathed hockey. Not getting to be out on the ice was absolute torture.

For as elated as Louis was, unfortunately his play on the ice didn’t really go along with that. His movements on the ice were still somewhat stiff, and his passes weren’t as crisp as they usually were. He tried not to be too down on himself, because he knew that the first game back after an injury usually went one of two ways: absolute brilliance, or absolutely chaotic. Luckily for Louis and his team, by the third period he seemed to settle back into something more akin to his usual playing style.

Though his line with Stan and Oli didn’t wind up producing any goals, they still had several chances and already looked much sharper than they had with Calvin on the line. With each game that they got even better together, Calvin grew more and more bitter. In his mind, it wasn’t down to skill that the three lads worked so well together. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if Stan and Oli just tried harder with Louis. Stan had always favored Louis over him, and Oli tended to just go along with whoever was paying him attention at the moment. Calvin watched in a silent rage when Louis got his first goal since being injured, two games after his return. Stan had set Louis up brilliantly, a play that he’d never even bothered to try with Calvin. 

Still, Calvin did his best to play the part of supportive teammate, all while stewing and debating forming a plan. The plan mostly just involved being a little extra physical with Louis in practices, or messing with his things more than usual. It wasn’t really anything too out of the ordinary, but seeing Louis thrown off his concentration gave Calvin a sense of grim satisfaction.

It was three weeks later when both of their lives completely went upside-down.

What Calvin didn’t realize was that in his bitterness and desire to get back at Louis, his own play was suffering. This led to Julian making the decision to bench him in favor of one of the rookies who hadn’t really been given a shot yet. As it turned out, Anders slotted in nicely into the fourth line role, infusing it with energy where Calvin had begun to drain the energy. Anders remained in the line-up for the next several games straight, making Calvin even more frustrated.

Instead of actually using it as an opportunity to prove his worth, and to prove to Julian that he belonged out there on the ice, not some unproven little Dane, Calvin continued to steam and have an unpleasant air around him. Julian proposed to the higher ups in the Islanders organization that a temporary change of scenery might breathe some life back into Calvin and get his head on straight. The brass listened, and took advantage of Providence being in a dire injury situation. They opted to loan Calvin to the Bruins, thinking it might be a good thing for him.

It only served to infuriate Calvin further. That was why, a few days later, he let it slip in an interview that Louis wasn’t entirely straight. He didn’t even really have to say much more than just an off-hand comment, but the room still managed to erupt in noise. Calvin stood there with a satisfied smirk, knowing that he had just potentially ruined Louis’ career.

Louis himself found out later that night, and was absolutely horrified. He’d thought of Calvin as a friend, someone who would have his back even if they didn’t always get along perfectly. Instead, Calvin had betrayed him in the absolute worst way possible. He thought they had come so far in the time since he’d first come out to the team.

_**1.5 Years Prior** _

“I think I might come out to the team,” Louis murmured, not lifting his head from Harry’s lap but staring straight ahead at the TV, scared to know the boy’s reaction.

Harry’s hands stilled from scratching the back of Louis’ neck. “Really?” He asked, voice completely shocked. “That could be dangerous.”

Louis sighed. “I know. Trust me. It could go all kinds of wrong. But some of these guys have had my back through thick and thin, and they deserve to know. I’m also a little selfish and hope that maybe it’ll give me an excuse to educate them to continue working on cutting out homophobic talk in the locker room. It worked with the team in North Dakota. Surprisingly, because that was college kids.”

“That would be a good bonus,” Harry said sagely, nodding his head. “You’re a bit crazy for it though, Lou. Nothing will be the same after, you know that, right?”

“I know. And I know there’s a chance they could have me kicked off the team or some shit. Anything is possible, but I’m hoping that they trust me enough to give me the respect to support me.”

“I think they do,” Harry said with a smile. “Still think you’re crazy, but I support you in anything you decide to do. If you want me there with you, I can be there with you.”

“They’re gonna think we’re dating if we do that,” Louis laughed, sitting up and poking Harry’s side.

Harry shrugged. “Let them. They probably already think we are, with how much time we spend together.”

“But I’m dating Eleanor,” Louis argued. “Hopefully they’ll respect that, right? I might like boys, but I like girls just as much.”

Harry stared at him for a minute, an ‘are you serious?’ look on his face. He shook his head and laughed a little. “Lou. I mean, really. Pretty sure you guys are bigger gossips than anyone I’ve ever met.”

Louis started to protest Harry’s words, retaliate with something along the lines of how they were athletes, thank you very much, but then he thought about the conversation that he’d overheard in practice just that morning. Oli had been going on and on to Calvin and Luke about the girl he’d picked up in the bar the night before, only to find out the girl had already been with both of them. Not only that, but she’d also been trying to get with their teammate Drew. Yep, okay, maybe Harry did have a point. “Still.”

“I know this is important to you,” Harry said gently. 

Abruptly, Louis sat up and crossed his arms over his chest. “Important to me?” He hissed, ignoring the way that Harry sat up straighter, startled. “ _Important to me_?” His voice got cold and lower. “Two days ago, Tom called Stan a fucking faggot. His own alternate captain. Do you know why?” Harry shook his head, but stayed quiet. “Because he was excited to see his mother. The woman who gave _birth_ to him and drove him to all of his hockey games, paid all those fees and bought all that equipment through the years.” Louis took a deep breath, then continued to talk. “It’s important to me because they think they are so fucking _funny_ when they’re using all these slurs to chirp the other team. It’s possible to get under the other team’s skin without resorting to that shit. It’s important to me because my sexuality is still valid even though I’m dating a woman.” His chest was heaving by the time that he finished his tirade, and he was practically shaking from the emotions of it. 

Harry remained silent right after Louis finished speaking. Instead, he just opened his arms for Louis. Louis hesitated for a second before launching himself into Harry’s arms, curling into the taller boy. “You’re so brave to do this,” Harry murmured, hugging Louis tight to his chest.

“What if I do lose everything?” Louis murmured, suddenly feeling a little overwhelmed at all the possibilities of what might happen once the team found out. “What if they decide to kick me off the team, and then tell everyone so that no team will ever sign me?”

“Then you know you did the right thing,” Harry reassured Louis. “They can’t kick you off the team for that, it’s discrimination. You fight for it. And if no team will sign you, and you still want to play, then you go overseas.”

Louis wrinkled his nose. “I don’t wanna go that far from my family. This far is far enough.”

“You could always be a door to door vacuum salesman,” Harry said solemnly, “you’re very charming.”

Louis pulled back, blinking slowly at Harry. “I don’t think those exist anymore,” he said.

“Knives, then. Ooh, or Tupperware! You’d have killer Tupperware parties.”

It took Louis a few moments to process what Harry was saying, before he burst out into laughter. “Your mind is a ridiculous place,” he said fondly, tapping next to Harry’s temple. Harry just beamed at him and hugged Louis one more time before they both turned their attention back to the television. Louis did his best to focus on the hockey game and try not to think about what he potentially had to lose.

The next morning, Louis was nervous and on edge during all of practice. Some of his teammates took the piss out of him, but for the most part he ignored them. When he missed a wide open net during a shooting drill, though, he knew it was super obvious that his mind was not there.

“What’s up?” Their captain then, Matt, asked, frowning at Louis in concern when he skated over.

“Can we have a team meeting after practice?” Louis asked nervously. “I want to talk about something with everyone.”

Matt hesitated. “Are you sure? You know you’re not supposed to let your personal life affect the team.”

It took everything in Louis not to roll his eyes at the veteran player. _Of course_ he knew it wasn’t supposed to affect the team. But this was something that did potentially affect the team, and if everyone else could sit around and gossip, why couldn’t he talk about something that was important to him? “Yes. I need to do this.”

Again, Matt hesitated before he finally agreed. “Yeah, fine. We can do that. Just get your shit together and focus for the rest of practice, okay?” Louis saluted Matt before skating off. Now that Matt had at least agreed to the meeting, Louis forced himself to put all of his attention into what was left of practice. At first, he was afraid it would be even harder knowing what was coming, and that it was cool with Matt. It was surprisingly easy, though, to put his mind back into hockey mode.

When practice ended, Louis found himself taking his time going back into the locker room. Suddenly, he was afraid, actually afraid of what their reactions might be. He let a slap shot fly to the empty net from the other end of the ice, nodding to himself when it hit the back of the net. He could do this. Louis skated over to clean up the remaining pucks, putting them into a bin. “You can do this,” he told himself, building himself up before making his way into the locker room, where everyone was in the process of changing. He quickly changed as well. By the time that he was done, he realized that most of the rest of the team was sitting there, waiting for him to explain why he felt the need to call a team meeting.

“Well?” Matt pressed, motioning for Louis to go to the middle of the room if he wanted.

Louis took a deep breath. This was it, there was no going back now. He forced the nerves away, and instead tried to project his over-confident interview façade. “So, yes, I need to talk to you guys about something pretty important to me. There’s, uh, something I’ve noticed getting really bad lately. You all might not think it’s that big of a deal, but it actually is. It’s actually quite personal to me.”

“Poor little baby, got his panties in a twist,” Calvin muttered, but Louis was close enough to be able to hear him.

He spun around, pointing directly at Calvin. “That is exactly what I’m talking about. I’ve had to tolerate this homophobic bullshit for too long, and I’m done with it.”

“What are you trying to say?” Oli asked, brow furrowed in confusion. “You know it’s just in fun, just joking.”

“Is it, though?” Louis asked, looking pointedly at Calvin until he lowered his head. “Because I’m starting to think maybe it’s not. Or that you don’t realize just how harmful it is.” He turned to Matt. “You know how you were talking about doing a video for the You Can Play project? I think we should. I think all of you could do with a lesson in homophobia.”

“Why do you care? It’s not like you’re gay, unless there’s something you’re not telling us about Eleanor,” Calvin snickered.

Louis rolled his eyes. “Yes, Eleanor is a woman. An incredible woman who I love very much. But I’m actually bisexual, which is why the homophobic language bothers me.”

All of a sudden, the room went completely silent. They all stared at him with varying expressions on their faces, most stunned. “Are you sure?” Oli asked, a small, confused, frown on his face.

“Yes, I’m sure,” Louis sighed. He started to pace around the center of the room, being careful to avoid the logo in the middle. “I’m not straight because I’m dating a woman, and I wasn’t gay when I dated a man before her. I’m bisexual. End of story.”

“Why do we care?” Tom asked. “I know I don’t care that you’re a fag.”

“Enough!” Matt yelled. Everyone stopped what they were doing, looking at their captain with wide eyes. When he was satisfied that he had all of their attention, Matt spoke up again. “You know, at first I was going to say that you were a complete idiot for something like this,” he said to Louis. “That it was personal, could cause problems in the team. Then you lot,” he turned to the direction of the others, especially Tom and Calvin, “decided to be complete and utter assholes. This attitude is exactly why I considered it when I was approached about the You Can Play project. We are doing it, and we are using this as an opportunity for education.”

“This isn’t school,” Tom rolled his eyes, “Why should we need education?”

All Matt could do for a few moments was stare at Tom with an incredulous expression on his face. “Would you like to make the NHL someday?” He asked, waiting for Tom to nod before continuing. “Then you need education. How do you expect to grow as a player if you don’t take every opportunity you get to learn? Respect is important, both on and off the ice. Guess what happens in the NHL if you’re an asshole to your own teammates and causing unnecessary drama and a hostile environment? You get traded. Or you don’t get re-signed. Or you become a joke in the league. Think about guys like Sean Avery and Paul Bisonette. What are they known for?”

“Being douchebags,” Stan muttered. 

“Exactly. They became a joke. You can play on the edge, chirp and insult and still be respectful to the other team. And more importantly, you _always_ want to be respectful to your teammates. Their personal life might not be of importance to you, but if they are willing to put something as difficult as Louis’ announcement out there, then they deserve your respect. And I will not tolerate anything less in this locker room. Got it?” Matt asked, crossing his arms and looking from one player to the next. It was easy in that moment to see his many years of experience in the NHL, and why he wanted one last season to be able to teach the young men the game. “Anyone have anything else they’d like to say?” They all shook their head, so Matt dismissed them all. “Tommo,” he said, reaching out to place his hand on Louis’ shoulder. 

“Yeah?” Louis asked, feeling a little nervous that his captain was holding him back.

“Thank you. I don’t know if this is going to help everyone, but I hope that it helps at least some of them understand,” Matt smiled, leaning in to hug Louis. Louis gladly accepted the hug, pressing a cheeky kiss to Matt’s nose before pulling away and running off with a laugh.

_**Present Day** _

When Louis looked at his phone and saw all the texts and tweets, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He sat down on a kitchen chair, not even realizing just how much that he was shaking. It was out. His biggest secret was out, and not even by his own choice. All he could do was sit in shock, letting everything really sink in.

Half an hour later, he was still in the same spot, still staring at his phone, when Stan came strolling into the house. “Lou,” he said softly, resting his hand on Louis’ shoulder.

Louis looked up with watery eyes at his best friend, who was looking at him with a sympathetic look on his face. “How could he?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

“I don’t know,” Stan murmured. “I don’t understand. I love you though, bro, and you know we’ve got your back, right?” He gave Louis a bit of an awkward standing hug, resting his chin on the smaller boy’s shoulders.

“Thanks,” Louis sighed. “We have to get to the bus, don’t we?”

“Yeah, unfortunately I’m here to pick you and Bruce up so we can head to the arena after dropping the pup off. Are you good to go or do you need me to stall the bus?”

“No, no,” Louis muttered, “you don’t have to do that for me. I’ve got my gear together, I just have to… um, get it. And figure out where my dog is.”

“Your dog is right here,” Stan laughed gently, patting Bruce’s head where he stood next to Stan. “Stay here, I’ll go get your gear, okay?” Louis just nodded, still numb with shock, and let Stan throw the huge hockey bag over his shoulder. He watched his friend for a few moments before he stood up as well, grabbing Bruce’s leash and getting him ready to go. “Hey,” Stan said, stopping and turning to Louis. “I mean it. We’ve got your back, okay?”

Louis took a deep breath. He had to just go on with it; it was senseless for him to just hide. “Okay. Bring it in,” he opened his arms for Stan, who laughed and stepped in for a hug before they got on their way.

-

They were in Rochester the day after the news gets out. His team made a brief statement about it, but other than that Louis had not addressed the issue. He was too shocked and hurt by the betrayal to really be able to think much on it, but he knew that he had to say _something_. 

Some big name sports broadcasters had already contacted him, hoping to sensationalize and capitalize on the so-called scandal. But it wasn’t a _scandal_ , was it really? No. He hadn’t gone and hurt anyone, he hadn’t been caught driving drunk (or into a Tim Horton’s, for that matter), he hadn’t been caught with drugs. Those were scandals. The fact that Louis sometimes liked a dick in his bum was hardly any one’s business but his own.

Except that suddenly, it was everyone’s business. Louis Tomlinson had, overnight and against his will, simultaneously become the biggest insult to the hockey community and the poster child of the equality in hockey movement. There was no way that Louis could avoid it forever.

So he decided that he would give an interview. However, the interview would be with one person and one person alone: Greg. Any other interviews, should he choose to do them, would happen when the season was over. 

Louis skipped practice that morning; both he and Julian knew that he was too on edge to be able to focus on the practice. Instead, he met with Greg down the street, in a booth at Dinosaur BBQ. At first, Greg had offered the privacy of the hotel, or the comfort of a locker room, but Louis had decided that he would rather do it over lunch. It was a good decision, because the smells and bustle of the restaurant helped to calm him down.

“You ready for this?” Greg asked once their food was set down in front of them.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Louis sighed, taking a drink from his tea. After he set it down, he ran his thumb over the dagger tattoo on his arm. In the time since he’d gotten the tattoo, it had become a habit for him, part nervous and part superstition. Louis had gotten the tattoo not long after the Sound Tigers changed their goal song to “Chelsea Dagger” by the Fratellis. The tattoo reminded him of the team, of the support that they had for each other, and of the hard work that he was doing. Before every game, he brushed his thumb over the tattoo for good luck, and whenever he was nervous he did the same thing. 

He was brought out of his slight daze when Greg spoke. “This isn’t going to be live, so don’t worry about taking your time to answer or anything. I can edit it down when I get back to the hotel. And if there’s anything that is off limits, don’t be afraid to tell me so and I’ll move on to a different question. And,” Greg laughed, “eat what you want. Just don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“Yes, mom,” Louis rolled his eyes, but grinned, instantly feeling more at ease. This was exactly why he had chosen to do this interview with Greg. “You know, Gregory,” Louis said before eating a bite of brisket, “this could make your career.”

“Think I could get a shot up with the big boys?” Greg asked, eyes wide.

“We’ll see if you’re any good at this interview,” Louis teased, with a familiarity reserved only for Greg.

“Better be, Tomlinson, could make your career too,” Greg threw back, grinning and reaching across the table to steal a piece of Louis’ brisket.

“Get your own!” Louis yelped, frowning. In retaliation, he reached across and took a forkful of Greg’s mac and cheese. “Oh that’s good,” he said, eyes widening in surprise.

“I know, right?” Greg grinned. “Now come on, interview time.”

“Yes sir,” Louis said, taking one more bite of his food before concentrating on Greg’s words.

-

When it came time for the actual game, Louis hesitated slightly. Julian offered Louis the option of sitting the game out, and Louis considered it. His head wasn’t entirely there, that much was true. He also had no idea what the reaction would be, and didn’t want to be too much of a distraction to his team. Both Jamie and Julian were also concerned that he might be a target as well. 

In the end, however, Louis’ loyalty to his team won out. He couldn’t let the lads down by taking the night off. He needed to be stronger than the hate that he was getting on Twitter, and show that he was just as good of a hockey player being bisexual as he was being straight. 

The interview with Greg had aired just an hour before, and it had gone viral almost instantly. Louis had refused to listen, wanting instead to keep to the rest of his game day routine. He didn’t need the additional distraction; he needed to keep to his habits if he wanted to be any help at all out on the ice. So once he got back from lunch, Louis had his pre-game nap, and then changed to head over to the arena.

He was terrified going into the arena. He didn’t know if people would know who he was suddenly, or if things would just be the same as always. Louis did his best to keep his breathing calm as he walked through the halls of the arena, trying to find the locker room, somehow avoiding coming into any contact with anyone. He must have gotten there early enough.

When he did get to the locker room, though, what was waiting surprised him. The whole team was already there, starting to get ready. They all went silent when Louis walked in, but only for a moment. They all then started clapping.

“What,” Louis said, looking around the room in confusion.

“Well,” Stan said, standing up and walking over to Louis to sling an arm around his shoulder, “you know we’ve always supported you. But this is huge, Louis. I know you didn’t have a ton of choice in the matter, but doing that interview was big. We are so proud of you.”

“You listened?” Louis flushed. He’d assumed that, like him, the rest of his teammates would all just stick to their own game day routine.

“Why do you think we’re all here?” Stan laughed. “Held a team meeting… figured that it was something that was important for all of us to listen to. Not just because you’re our teammate, but because it’s something important for all of us to understand.”

“Wow,” Louis breathed, his hand over his heart. He felt nearly overwhelmed with the genuine support in the room.

“To show you how proud of you we are, we all agreed on a change,” Stan said, walking over to Louis’ stall and grabbing something. Louis frowned in confusion, not knowing what was going on. His eyes widened when Stan held up his jersey, with a bright and shiny A on it. 

“What,” he said, a dumbfound expression on his face as he looked from Dan to Sandy, their usual alternate captains. 

“You’re a leader in your own way on this team, Lou,” Sandy shrugged. “And right now, you’re a leader off the ice, too. We wanted to show not just you, but the entire league, that we support you and you are a crucial piece of our team, no matter what is going on in your personal life.”

Louis blinked as he reached for the jersey Stan was offering him. He swallowed back tears when he ran his finger over the cloth A. He knew that it was merely symbolic, but it still meant the world to him. Wearing the A, even for one game, was a huge honor as a player. And for it to be this game? Wow, it was overwhelming. He looked up at his teammates, then suddenly broke out into a huge grin. “Bring it in, boys,” he laughed hoarsely, wrapping his arms in a tight hug with Stan, Dan, and Sandy. In the background, Louis could hear the rest of his team cheering. “Alright, enough of the sap,” he laughed after a moment, his voice hoarse with emotion. “We’ve got a game to get ready for.”

Almost instantly, the atmosphere in the room changed as everyone settled into their normal pre-game rituals. Louis was grateful for that sense of normalcy while everything else going on seemed so overwhelming.

-

When it came time for the team to take to the ice for warm-ups, Louis became nearly overwhelmed with nerves. Knowing his team stood by his side was one thing. But how would the crowd react, especially an away crowd? How would the other team react? Louis swallowed thickly, suddenly frozen in place. He’d turned his phone off before the interview aired and purposely left it off so it wouldn’t be a distraction. He had no clue how anyone was reacting, and knowing the things that could be said and done out on the ice was terrifying. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over to see a reassuring smile on Stan’s face. “We’ve got your back,” he said, patting Louis’ shoulder before following the others down the tunnel and onto the ice. 

Louis took a deep breath, and then also made his way out. He hesitated at the end of the bench. It was now or never. _It is what it is_ , he told himself, the tightness in his chest loosening as he thought of that. His skates hit the ice not long after, and he circled around behind the net, making a loop around their end of the ice. He did his best to just focus on the task at hand, and try not to look around him for any signs or rude comments. 

Luckily, warm-ups and the anthem seemed to pass by with no difficulty: at least none that Louis noticed, and that was the important thing. As soon as the game started, Louis found himself immersed in it, slowly clearing his mind. Hockey always had a way of getting him through some of the roughest times of his life.

_**Six Years Earlier**_

Louis wished there was some moment where he could say that he saw it coming. One distinct thing, maybe, that just screamed “your parents are about to divorce!” Sure, Jay and Mark had fought some, but Louis figured it wasn’t really anything that was a huge deal. So when they both stood in front of him and told him they were getting a divorce, Louis was floored. He’d always loved Mark as his own father, even taking on his last name.

“Are you serious?” Louis asked, looking from one parent to the other.

“I am,” Jay said, reaching over to take her son’s hand and squeeze it.

Louis pulled his hand out of Jay’s. He didn’t want to be comforted and coddled: he was angry. How could they do this to him? “It’s not fair,” he frowned, not caring if he sounded like he was whining.

“It is fair,” Mark said gently. “It’s fair because it’s what is best for all of us. Your mother and I, we’ve just grown apart. We both love you kids so much, and it’s best for you guys if we do this.”

“How?” Louis asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“So we don’t wind up fighting,” Jay replied, brutally honest with her son. “Right now, we’re friends. We can remain friends, and raise you kids better for it. But if we just continued on, who knows where the tension might go. Even if you might be able to handle the fighting, there is no way that your sisters would be able to.”

At that, Louis’ shoulders slumped and he immediately understood. As hurt as he was, his sisters were the most important people in his life. He would do anything to protect them, even if it meant his parents having to get a divorce. “Can I still play hockey?” He asked, voice small.

“Of course, Lou! Like we’d ever take that away from you,” Mark said quickly. “You’re a natural at it.”

At least Louis had something to be thankful of. One of his teammates’ parents had gotten a divorce, but unfortunately the divorce left everything with his parents so split and angry that he was forced to pull out of the team because his mother no longer had the funds for the equipment, team fees, and ice time. Hockey was not a cheap hobby by any means, and Louis was forever grateful to his mother for supporting him. And in that moment, he was grateful to both of his parents that they would still make sure to let him continue, no matter what.

Dinner afterward was a bit awkward. Louis didn’t want to tell his sisters what was going on; that was his parents’ job. Not only that, but he was having a hard time even wrapping his head around the idea that it could be one of the last nights they were all in a room together. “Can we go to the rink?” he asked when all the dishes were done, hesitating slightly. He knew that it was a school night, so they probably wouldn’t let him go skate, but he knew that it was the only thing that could take his mind off everything and relax him enough that he’d be able to sleep later.

“Did you finish your homework?” Mark asked.

“Yes, dad. You helped me with my social studies project, remember?” Louis rolled his eyes.

“Oh, of course,” Mark laughed, shaking his head. “If it’s okay with your mother, then I’ll take you while she gets the girls ready for bed.”

“Go ahead,” Jay said. “Just don’t be out too late. It is still a school night.”

Louis let out a sigh of relief and ran upstairs to get his bag. He dragged it down the stairs, going right out to the garage to load it into the van.

As soon as Louis hit the ice, he felt better. He lost himself in skating and shooting drills, feeling all the worry just roll off of him.

The next day, he did the same thing: he focused all his energy and emotion into his game, and wound up playing better than he ever had before. It was funny; he almost expected to be distracted and play terribly. Instead, though, he was so hyper-focused on the game to get his mind off everything. And the adrenaline and the pace of the game meant that by the time that he got into bed that night, he fell asleep in a matter of minutes.

_**Present Day** _

It wasn’t until the first proper TV time out (because of _course_ this game was being televised, why wouldn’t that be Lou’s luck?) that reality came crashing back down on Louis. Instead of playing the usual crowd-pleasing video on the jumbotron, a very different video began to play. Louis could only stare up at the video, tears welling in his eyes. It was a team video that Rochester had done, their own version of the You Can Play video that Louis and the Sound Tigers had recorded. There was no big announcement after, no playing of a sound bite to sensationalize Louis’ situation. Just a nicely timed sentiment that left Louis feeling warm inside. 

The warmth he felt grew even more when the timeout ended and Louis hopped over the boards and onto the ice, to a scattered applause. It wasn’t much, and he could definitely hear some jeering mixed in, but coming from a hostile away crowd? Shit, it meant the world to Louis. He smiled sheepishly and gave a little nod before lining up in the face-off circle.

“Good on ya, Tommo,” the Rochester captain said with a supportive smile before turning his attention to the face-off.

“Thanks,” Louis muttered.

“No problem,” the man said with a smile, then smirked. “But don’t think it means we plan on going easy on you.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Louis winked, then promptly won the face-off and sent the puck off to Stan, laughing at the fact that the Rochester player was momentarily stunned before he continued on with his play.

The rest of the game went much the same way. While Rochester wasn’t one of their biggest rivals, they played the team often enough to have some animosity built up. It led to a physical game, but not a dirty one. Louis grew more comfortable as time went on, throwing himself into the game like nothing out of the ordinary had happened that day. It not only helped him, but his team around him, helping them to pull off a much needed win. 

He wasn’t sure if the opposing captain had made a point to make sure no one said anything to Louis, or if they were just a stand up group of guys, but he got no more comments or hits thrown his way than he would in a normal game. And Louis was very grateful for that.

He was even more grateful when the game was over, though. It had felt good to get that first one out of the way, but he knew that it would only be the beginning. He knew that he’d gotten lucky, truthfully. 

Louis didn’t even look at his phone again until he got onto the bus and relaxed into the lone back seat of the bus. He was grateful it had been left open, and had a feeling the team had done that on purpose. Louis couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face when he saw the messages there from Liam. 

The aftermath of his being forced out of the closet seemed to be a bag of mixed reactions. He got a good amount of support, but he also got some negativity. Twitter became a cesspool of negativity. For every positive, thankful Tweet that Louis got, he got another ten telling him to get out of the game or go die. It was absolutely brutal, to the point where he had to delete the Twitter app from his phone because he couldn’t bear to check it anymore. It was draining, and distracting, and that was precisely why, if he had his choice, he would at least have waited until the off-season. 

One of the positives out of everything was the games themselves. Louis was able to let his play speak for itself, and in the lead up to the All-Star game found himself on a roll setting up his linemates for goal after goal. His teammates stood by him, supporting anything against him, but they also were just able to focus on the game of hockey and not make a huge deal out of it. That helped Louis to lose himself into the game, which was what helped his production. 

The air in the locker room seemed to change with what he had gone through, too. It was much more supportive in general, and brought them even closer together. On the ice, it also seemed to make an impact in some ways. At first, Louis would occasionally get the slurs thrown at him in an attempt to piss him off during a game. After the first few times it happened, though, teams seemed to get the hint that the Sound Tigers would not stand for that shit and would stand their ground, proving it either on the score sheet or just physically. They were not afraid to call players out on their language, and later Louis found out that Liam’s team started to as well. 

He found that out a few weeks after he the interview aired. The Sound Tigers were playing in Hartford, and there was a break in play while a pane of glass was being fixed. Louis stood over near the Hartford bench, chatting with Bressie. 

“You know,” Bressie told Louis, “Liam’s been really good about keeping on top of the language.”

“What do you mean?” Louis frowned.

“The homophobic language,” Bressie clarified. “He’s been a stickler about it in the locker room for as long as I’ve known him, but ever since you were outed, he’s been adamant about it staying off the ice from both teams.”

Louis flushed, “Really?”

“Yeah. I know you didn’t really want to come out. I really hate the way it all happened to you, but I’m glad you did. It’s been good for educating, for acceptance, all of that. I think hockey was a lot more ready for it than a lot of people kind of realized.”

“It hasn’t been too bad so far,” Louis nodded. “I was afraid it’d be a lot worse, like I would be targeted out there and intentionally injured or something. There’s been a little of it, mostly language and a few late hits, but for the most part it hasn’t been… hell.”

Bressie nodded and gave Louis a gentle smile. “Good, I’m really glad for that. I think people are seeing that you’re not playing any different; if anything, you’re playing better because you don’t have the secret holding you back anymore. And you haven’t gone crazy trying to make a big media deal out of it or anything. We’re all pretty happy for you, Tommo. Especially Liam. Now go out there, I think they’re about finished with the stanchion.”

At Bressie’s words, Louis couldn’t help but blush. It was nice to know that Liam was on his side. A bit weird that he was talking about him, but it kind of excited Louis. He thanked Bressie and skated off quickly, doing his best to force himself to pay attention to the rest of the game. 

After the game, Louis wandered through the arena looking for Liam. He spotted Liam talking with Nick and grinned. Nick was one of the few people who knew about the two of them, so he had no problem interrupting them.

“Louis Tomlinson,” Nick drawled, grinning up when he noticed Louis walking over.

“Nicholas Grimshaw,” Louis smirked. “Busy getting paid for nothing?”

“You know it,” Nick rolled his eyes. “When am I getting my interview?”

“You? Never,” Louis grinned.

“Alright, enough,” Liam laughed before Nick could respond. “Go away, Grimmy.”

Nick raised an eyebrow, then looked between the two men. He rolled his eyes and laughed. “You two are something else,” he declared, then walked away still laughing. As soon as Nick was gone, Liam smirked and pulled Louis into the nearest office, locking the door behind him.

“How much time do you have?” Liam asked as he pushed Louis against the door, hands going right into the older man’s suit pants.

“Maybe ten, fifteen minutes,” Louis groaned, arching his hips forward. 

Liam raised an eyebrow. “Guess we’ll have to be quick, then,” he smirked and immediately dropped to his knees in front of Louis.

“Fuck,” Louis gasped, his hands going into Liam’s hair. “Winner of the game gets a blowjob, huh?” he teased.

Liam glared up at Louis. “Fuck off,” he said and then pushed Louis’ pants down enough that he could take his hardening dick into his mouth.

“That’s what I thought,” he snickered, which trailed off into a low moan when Liam began to use his tongue in a way that he knew would shut Louis’ teasing up.

As with their usual post-game hookups, the sex was dirty and sloppy. Liam worked his mouth over Louis with no finesse. He focused instead on driving Louis absolutely wild, and in turn quieting all the banter. It didn’t take very long for Louis to go over the edge, coming into Liam’s mouth with a startled shout.

“You’re so fucking noisy,” Liam muttered when he stood back up. “How have we never actually gotten caught?”

Louis shrugged and pulled Liam in for a kiss. His hand found its way into Liam’s pants, working quickly to get the other man off. It didn’t take long before Liam was coming, moaning into Louis’ mouth. 

“Fuck,” he gasped as he pulled away, panting.

“You look like you worked harder just now than you did on the ice,” Louis teased, despite his own face being flushed and his own shallow breathing.

“And whose team is higher in the standings?” Liam asked, an eyebrow raised and a smug smirk on his face.

Louis opened and closed his mouth, then sighed dramatically when he discovered he had no good comeback for that. They both laughed and rolled their eyes, separating and sharing a quick kiss before going on their ways.

-

Louis was completely flabbergasted when he found out that he was picked to play in the AHL All Star game in Syracuse. Though he had played in one before, he absolutely didn’t expect it to ever happen again. Though the so-called “scandal” of his coming out had died down dramatically since it had first happened, he was still getting a lot of crap and drama about it. Therefore, Louis had assumed that the league wouldn’t want to bring that kind of potential negativity into something that was meant to celebrate the game. Or maybe they had invited him in some kind of effort to show how inclusive they were, make a political statement perhaps, instead of basing it strictly off his talent? Louis certainly hoped that wasn’t the case, but even if it was… well, it was another platform for education. 

Most importantly, the opportunity to play in the game meant the opportunity to be on Liam’s team. 

The idea of that both excited Louis and made him incredibly nervous. The more time that he spent with Liam, the more that he was starting to realize that his feelings for the other man went a lot deeper than he’d thought. He’d pushed them away initially, thinking they weren’t really anything _that_ serious. It had been weird enough for him to even have feelings, to talk to anyone about them. But all of a sudden, Louis was realizing that he didn’t just a little bit like Liam. No, he was pretty sure that he was falling hard for the other man.

God, he was fucked.

-

A few days before the start of the All Star break, Louis got some pretty amazing news. Simon Cowell, the president of the Islanders, decided that he wanted to use Louis’ coming out as a platform for awareness in general. He worked with the You Can Play project team, as well as the Minnesota Wild brass, to set up a sort of home-and-home You Can Play event. They hoped that it would take some of the stigma away from the game, and make people, players and fans alike, more comfortable with the idea. The point, really, was to make it normal so no one felt like they could not participate just because of their sexuality.

The fact that it was against Minnesota, Louis’ hometown team, was not lost on him. Even if it wasn’t intentional on Cowell’s part, it was still something special for Louis. He wanted so desperately to be called up for the game. He knew, though, that it wasn’t going to happen… but he definitely planned on not only getting a ticket for himself, but also flying his family out to join him. It was the least that he could do with how much love and support they’d shown him all along, while also showing support to the organization that had been so welcoming and helpful to him.

-

On the first night of All Star weekend, Louis found himself pacing around the hotel room while he waited for Liam to show up. They were rooming together, which Louis had found out that Liam had specifically asked for. Knowing that little tidbit made him both more excited and more nervous. It meant that Liam wanted to spend the time specifically with him, which was good. Amazing, really. But was it because he just wanted to get laid all weekend? Or might there be something more for Liam, too? 

This was precisely why Louis didn’t want to do relationships anymore after Eleanor left. He hated the questioning, the wondering if the other person felt the same. It was downright stressful, especially when he had his mother, Harry, Ed, AND Greg all telling him to just get over it and admit to Liam how he felt. Louis wished it was that easy, he really did. At the same time, he knew that it was now or never. There would probably never be a more perfect opportunity for Louis to really tell Liam exactly what he felt. All he could do was sigh and roll his eyes when his phone went off in his pocket. He didn’t have to even look at it to know exactly what it was: either Greg or Harry encouraging him and asking if Liam was there yet and if they were planning the wedding yet. 

Finally, _finally_ , the door opened and Liam walked into the room with a grin on his face. Before Liam could even put his things down, Louis was on him. He leapt at Liam, wrapping his arms and legs around the other man and kissing all over his face.

“Woah,” Liam laughed, quickly dropping his bags from his hands so he could wrap them around the squirming boy. “Hello to you, too,” he grinned, then kissed Louis.

Louis laughed sheepishly, pressing his cheek to Liam’s. “Sorry. Couldn’t help myself… been ages since I’ve seen you.”

“I know,” Liam smiled, ruffling Louis’ fringe before carefully setting him down. 

Louis stared at Liam’s face, suddenly wanting so badly to just tell the other man exactly what he felt about him. The words wouldn’t come, however, so instead Louis blurted out, “Let’s go get some dinner after you get settled in.”

“Sure,” Liam agreed easily, grabbing his bag and bringing it over to where his bed would be. “I think the guys are going to a sushi place just down the street?”

Louis shook his head. As good as sushi did sound, he didn’t really want it to just be a team dinner. He wanted to be alone with Liam. He wanted… well, to take him on a proper date. “I was thinking just us, actually,” he murmured, suddenly feeling a bit shy. “Maybe some pasta or something?”

Liam was so focused on unpacking his suitcase and putting his clothing into drawers that he completely missed Louis’ nervousness. “Sounds good,” he said, finally turning to look over at Louis with a grin. When Liam noticed the serious look on Louis’ face, he raised an eyebrow and smirked a little bit. “Why, are you asking me on a date, Louis Tomlinson?”

“Might be,” Louis muttered, looking down and doing everything in his power to avoid sticking his hand in his mouth so he could chew on his fingers. 

“Well, in that case,” Liam teased, walking closer to Louis and wrapping his arms around the smaller man’s waist, “It’s a definite yes.”

Louis looked up quickly, eyes wide. “Really?” 

“Absolutely, you idiot,” Liam laughed, leaning in to press a kiss to Louis’ lips. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Louis scowled and rolled his eyes. “Why was it up to me? Why couldn’t you have asked?” 

Liam shrugged, and suddenly it was his turn to look a bit sheepish. “I don’t know. Just… didn’t know how you felt about me I guess? If you wanted anything serious? I’ve never… dated a guy before, I’ve only been with girls. And I know you had that bad breakup.”

“You’ve never dated a guy, huh?” Louis smiled gently, nipping at Liam’s nose. “I wasn’t sure if I was really ready to start dating again,” he admitted, “especially someone that I had strong feelings for. But you… you’re something special, Liam Payne.”

“Going to give me a complex,” Liam laughed, ducking his head with a shy chuckle. 

“Don’t need me for that,” Louis teased, “you’ve already got all the media doing it for you.”

Liam rolled his eyes and laughed again, kissing Louis quick. “I’m going to go shower, then we can go find somewhere to eat.”

“Need some company?” Louis asked, waggling his eyebrow. Liam snorted and grabbed Louis’ arm, dragging him into the bathroom.

-

Louis was at home a couple of weeks later when he got the news, sprawled out over his couch with NHL Network on for background noise while he tossed a ball for Bruce. It had been an intense weekend away, and he was happy to just relax. There was something that was almost like… a stinky home away from home when he was on a long bus ride with his team. The rare times that they actually flew, then, messed a bit with Louis’ whole body. He was feeling the jetlag something fierce after their weekend of games in California.

“Huge news for the Rangers today,” the announcer said while they were reading off the headlines of the day. “It seems star prospect Liam Payne will finally get the chance to prove himself in tomorrow’s game against New Jersey. Payne was called up on an emergency basis, but with Brassard’s injury looking to be a lot more serious than expected, he will get a chance to suit up and take to the ice.”

There was more chattering between the announcers, but Louis tuned it out when he shot up, his eyes wide and excited, jetlag suddenly gone. Immediately, he fumbled for his phone, texting Liam a string of emojis and a few thousand congratulations. This was it, this was everything Liam had worked so hard for, and absolutely deserved! Louis couldn’t contain the grin on his face; it was almost like _he_ was the one who was called up, not Liam. 

Despite how much he hated flying, Louis didn’t even think twice about booking a flight for later that night to New York City. His boy was making his NHL debut at _Madison Square Garden_ , there was no way in hell that Louis was missing it. He was lucky enough that they didn’t have another game until Thursday, so he quickly shot off a text to Stan to let him know he wouldn’t be at practice the next morning. 

_You’re lucky it’s just an optional practice_ , Stan texted back, and Louis couldn’t help but laugh because he could practically see Stan rolling his eyes as he typed out the words. _Give li my support!!!!_

 _Yah yah, thanks pal. Will do!_ Louis texted back, then immediately opened Stubhub to see if he could find any tickets for the game. As much as Louis wanted to get a seat right on the glass, right where Liam would see him, he knew that would be a little suspicious. Liam wasn’t out yet, after all. Though he fully supported Louis, he wasn’t quite ready to come out yet, and Louis respected that. Because of that, he opted to get a seat up in the upper level, where he hoped he would be left alone. He could just surprise Liam when his flight got in instead. But how to go about doing that?

Louis stared at his phone, pondering. He didn’t have any contacts with the Rangers that he could call to try and get information on where Liam was staying, and he didn’t want to just ask Liam and give away the surprise. He looked through his contacts, eyes darting from Niall’s to Nick’s, wondering who might be better to ask. Grimmy might have some kind of connections, but Niall was more likely to have heard it from Liam himself. 

In the end, he decided to text Niall and ask him. Thankfully, Niall was able to tell him the hotel that Liam would be staying at and promised to stall Liam with a phone call right before Louis got in, guaranteeing he’d be in his hotel room. With his plan in motion, he quickly ran around to pack an overnight bag. He was startled out of his hurricane of packing when he heard footsteps down the hallway, and whipped around to see Stan standing there, grin on his face.

“Stan?” Louis blinked in surprise, not even caring that he was holding a pile of his underpants in his hand.

“Figured you’d need a ride to the airport and someone to look after Bruce,” Stan shrugged.

Fuck, he hadn’t even _thought_ about that. Louis was so grateful to have Stan in his life. “Oh god, thank you!” he ran over and hugged Stan, who was laughing. 

“When is your flight?” Stan asked, watching as Louis returned to throwing things in his bag.

Louis glanced at his alarm clock. “In like, five hours.” His eyes widened. “Oh shit, Haz was supposed to come over for dinner tonight! We were going to order some Chinese and have a movie night.”

“Text him, tell him to come to mine. We’ll bring Bruce over, then go out and pick up some food and you guys can have dinner at least with me and the missus before I take you to the airport.”

“God,” Louis laughed, grabbing his phone from the charger to shoot off a quick text to Harry, including Stan’s address. “What would I do without you?”

“Completely fall apart and somehow wind up working the streets,” Stan said smugly, going over to Louis’ suitcase and helping him properly fit the last few things in.

Louis snorted, shaking his head. “Oh yes, the big prostitute scene of Bridgeport. It is a pretty happening red light district.” He paused, then thought back on Harry’s words from months ago, rolling his eyes. “I’m glad my mates have so much faith in me. You think I’d be a prostitute, Harry thinks I’d be a Tupperware salesperson. Couldn’t even give me a normal retail job, huh?” 

“Wouldn’t last there for a week,” Stan laughed, elbowing Louis in the side.

“Oi!” Louis yelled, shoving Stan back. “I’ll have you know that I worked at Toys R Us for a full year at one point, thank you.”

“Of course, how could I forget,” he rolled his eyes in response. Eventually their bantering and shoving match calmed itself down and Louis was satisfied with what he had packed and they were on the way to Stan’s.

-

Several hours later found Louis outside of Liam’s hotel door, bag over his shoulder and a six pack of beer in his hand. He took a deep breath before knocking, grinning when he heard Liam’s voice.

“Hi,” he grinned at Liam, who stared at him with wide eyes. 

“Lou,” Liam gasped, dropping his phone and launching himself at Louis, who wrapped his arms around the younger man. “You’re here! How… what…” Liam rambled when he stood back, still staring at Louis with wide eyes.

“There’s this thing called airplanes,” he teased Liam, gently pushing him inside the room. He tossed his bag down on the floor and set the beer down before reaching down to pick up Liam’s discarded phone. “Bye, Niall!” He said happily before hanging up on the lad.

“How did you know that was Niall?” Liam laughed, walking further into the room.

Louis wiggled his eyebrow, “Magical powers.” When Liam just stared at Louis, not buying it, Louis sighed dramatically. “Alright, he was in on it. He promised to stall you until I got here so we knew you’d be in your room when I showed up.”

“I can’t believe he didn’t mention it! Oh, I’m going to kill him!” Liam muttered, shaking his head. 

“You can do that later. Right now, I think you deserve a congratulatory kiss,” Louis grinned, then reached for Liam and pulled him in close. They kissed deeply, glad to be together and to be able to share this.

-

The next night was the big game. Louis beamed with pride as he watched Liam skate out onto the ice. He couldn’t believe that he was actually there, that he actually got to witness his boyfriend’s first NHL game. The whole game, he was on the edge of his seat, eyes wide as he watched the teams flying up and down the ice. 

Even though Louis played the game, there was something entirely different about just watching an NHL game in person. The speed and skill that the teams demonstrated was incredible, and seeing Liam fit almost seamlessly out on the ice just gave Louis even more of a drive to work to have his own moment. He knew that it was probably too late for him, but that wasn’t going to stop working his ass off to even just get to play one NHL game. It was like watching Liam play lit a fire under him.

And that night, when he was curled into Liam after their post-game celebratory sex, Louis felt right for the first time since Eleanor left. Everything in his life was slowly but surely falling into place.


End file.
